Countries with long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
working longer freedom is becoming more common in today's society and some societies believe that it can bring benefits to the economy
however
the frequency of long working opportunities has a severe impact on these workers.From my perspective, I do not fully agree with Linking Words
this
point of view
It is vital to understand that working for a long opportunity is not sure to bring benefits to the economy.Linking Words
This
, in my opinion, adversely affects employee's health and productivity.Linking Words
For example
, nations who spend longer at work are more likely to suffer from various health issues ranging from tiredness to serious problems like anxiety disorder or even stress. Failing health leads to more sick leave, poor performance and low productivity.Linking Words
Such
outcomes result in financial loss for companies and in the long term can limit the development of entire industries
Linking Words
However
, I Linking Words
also
think that extended freedom of work has serious consequences for families and communities.Linking Words
This
is because,at the family level, busy working schedules prevent the population from taking frequent family trips or even just having meals together.Relationships among members are greatly weakened if they cannot make a future for each other.In terms of community life, overworked communities do not devote years to voluntary activity that brings benefits to their society.Linking Words
For instance
,my cousin hardly has a moment for local community service projects Linking Words
such
as conservation work or working with a charity
in conclusion, I would argue that working life should be reduced since the frequency of long working opportunities exerts an adverse effect on employees and the economy.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence to indicate its main idea. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed explanations. This will help in making your arguments clearer and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices such as connectors and transitional phrases to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction which states your stance effectively.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples are provided to support your points, which adds credibility to your arguments.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite