Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

While

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it is commonly thought that

parents

Use synonyms

should supervise their

children

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’s

activities

Use synonyms

, others believe

children

Use synonyms

should have more

freedom

Use synonyms

. I’m going to discuss these opposing points of view. In my opinion,

parents

Use synonyms

should let them have more

freedom

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, it is argued that

parents

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should supervise their

children

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’s

activities

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. The main reason is that the

children

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, nowadays, can access knowledge or anything in the world with the Internet and

also

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some bad things. The

children

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aren’t mature enough to know what is good or bad for them. Constant guidance helps prevent them from engaging in harmful behaviours,

such

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as excessive screen time, substance abuse or associating with negative influences. Another reason is that, by overseeing academic and extracurricular

activities

Use synonyms

parents

Use synonyms

can ensure their

children

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stay focused and achieve their goals.

For instance

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, many high-achieving students confirm that thanks to their

parents

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' involvement, they can succeed.

On the other hand

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, others claim that giving them more

freedom

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Firstly

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, it encourages their responsibilities and self-confidence. When

children

Use synonyms

are allowed to make decisions, they can learn from their mistakes and develop problem-solving skills.

For example

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, allowing the child to manage their study schedule may help them know the importance of time management.

Secondly

Linking Words

, being too controlling can destroy the relationship between kids and

parents

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, leading to rebellion or

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of trust. In conclusion, it is commonly thought that

parents

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should supervise their

children

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’s

activities

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Punctuation problem

;

show examples

meanwhile, others assume that

children

Use synonyms

should have more

freedom

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. Personally, I tend to believe that giving kids more

freedom

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can do more good than harm.

yeshomeclass

May 20, 2023

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structure

Make a clear plan. Start with your view, then give two ideas for both sides, and end with a clear own view.

cohesion

Link ideas with easy words like first, also, but, however, so.

grammar

Use short, simple sentences. Check for grammar mistakes.

content

Give one real example from life to back up a point.

structure

Clear view is stated in the intro and the end.

content

Good note of both sides.

cohesion

Some good links to show how ideas fit together.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

watch
guide
limit
allow
freedom
safety
risk
trust
rule
choice
decision
child
parent
home
school
time
study
help
grow
plan
talk
listen
explain
reason
calm
respect
mature
age
family
future
example
balance

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