IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin a learning a foriegn language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do advantages of this outwiegh the disadvantages?

#experts #children #foriegn #language #school #outwiegh
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In general,
children
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study
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other
Change the wording
another language
other languages
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 as easier to develop to communicate with
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
 people and it must to
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
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 early so
children
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 can master the knowledge.
This
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 essay will discuss
that
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apply
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the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 of learning an aboard
language
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in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 early age. In the first statement, people argue that
children
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 should learn
the
Correct article usage
a
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 foreign
language
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 to acquire
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 about that and
children
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 should
study
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 at primary school.
This
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 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
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childs
Correct your spelling
children
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 should build a structure of
language
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 and develop gradually so
children
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 can
easy to learning
Replace the word
easily learn
show examples
.
Moreover
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, students can acquainted with other
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
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 and
study
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 a
lot
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 of advanced
program
Change to a plural noun
programs
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
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big
Correct word choice
large
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 number of
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
are got
Wrong verb form
have
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 a
lot
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 of higher achievements and use
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 second
language
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 regularly. In the disadvantage statement,
children
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 can get more
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
 from their parents and parents
also
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 put the higher problem about the studies of
Use synonyms
childs
Correct your spelling
children
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.
Children
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 can not comfortable to the
learnig
Correct your spelling
learning
the
Correct article usage
a
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 foreign
language
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 and become lazier and feel
boring
Replace the word
bored
show examples
 with that
language
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. So
as
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apply
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that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 decided to
study
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 late
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
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 and
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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 the
oversea
Correct your spelling
overseas
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language
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 in the higher grades
so
Rephrase
apply
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create
Wrong verb form
creating
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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comfortable feelings about the studies. The
opion
Correct your spelling
option
opinion
 is
metioned
Correct your spelling
mentioned
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay that related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
early
study
Use synonyms
 is the better way for
children
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 to learn
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 foreign
language
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 and
Use synonyms
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 should
found
Wrong verb form
find
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 solid foundation so it
also
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 easier for
children
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 to
study
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 second
language
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
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, the environment,
studies
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and studies
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 way are the main feature to decide the results of
Use synonyms
childs
Correct your spelling
children
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 in the future and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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also
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support
Change the verb form
supports
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 a
lot
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 for
chids
Correct your spelling
kids
such
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 as
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
show examples
 and easy to get better jobs in the future and achieve a
lot
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 of
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
.
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coherence cohesion
The essay needs a clearer structure. Make sure to have a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should clearly state your thesis (your main argument) and outline the points you will discuss. Each paragraph should contain a single main idea supported by relevant examples and explanations. Lastly, the conclusion should summarize the key points and restate the thesis in light of the discussion.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of learning a foreign language at an early age.
task achievement
There are attempts to provide examples such as mentioning achievements in children who learn a second language early.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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