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Writing Samples
Band 7

Advertising aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children
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Today,
children
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 are exposed to a wide range of
advertisements
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, some of which can negatively impact their physical and mental health. In my view, advertising targeted at the younger generation should be restricted, if not banned altogether.
Advertisements
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 can negatively impact
children
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's health. TV commercials aimed at young audiences often promote fast food containing excessive amounts of sugar and fat. Since
children
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 can hardly resist
such
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 tempting food, they tend to overeat, increasing their chances of becoming obese. By regulating fast food advertising, governments can help safeguard the physical well-being of the next generation. Advertising is
also
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 blamed for childhood
behavior
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behaviour
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 problems. In an age of consumerism, advertisers try to convince
children
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 that buying certain products will make them happier.
This
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 leads
children
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 to pester their
parents
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 to buy whatever they desire. Since most
parents
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 are willing to satisfy their
children
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's needs,
this
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 can result in poor spending habits.
Such
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 habits may lead to irresponsible spending in adulthood, potentially causing financial strain or heavy debts.
On the other hand
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, advertising aimed at
children
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 can have positive aspects. It allows
parents
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 to learn about storybooks and educational toys that enhance
children
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's literacy and boost brain development. Banning these
advertisements
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 could make it challenging for
parents
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 to find resources to better educate their
children
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. In summary, I believe that
advertisements
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 promoting goods and services harmful to
children
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 should be restricted or even banned to ensure the betterment of the next generation. By doing so, we can protect
children
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's physical and mental health
while
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 still allowing beneficial
advertisements
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 that support their education and development.
Submitted by yu18526106986 on

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coherence cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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