Advanced technology has brought many beneficial changes to the world. However, some old people today struggle with the use of technologies such as mobile phones and the Internet. How can the elderly benefit from using advanced technologies? How can the elderly be encouraged to use consumer electronics more often?

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It is a fact that technological development is ubiquitous worldwide. Recent technology has introduced some crucial changes globally, but at present, certain senior citizens find difficulties when they

use

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technologies like smartphones and the net. There are multiple ways by which senior citizens can reap the benefits of technological advances, and devices should be designed to help

such

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people easily

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them.

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with, one significant benefit seniors can derive from modern technology is that the elderly can monitor their health.

For example

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, Fitness apps have features that can measure blood pressure, heart rate and energy consumption, which is extremely beneficial for them to learn the latest apps.

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is because they can start living a healthier lifestyle if they know their vital signs are unstable.

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, seniors can not only stay connected with their family members but

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get regular updates about their families well being. There are multiple ways to encourage elderly people to

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recent technologies. One effective method is to spread awareness of the benefits.

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, It is observed that the government gives funds to the communities to organize a campaign to teach various functions of smartphones and the internet to senior residents. The reason is that elderly individuals often do not know how to

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it and their children are

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busy in their personal lives.

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, younger ones can show them easy steps to learn and understand

this

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technology and give them time to adapt it in their life. In conclusion, after using recent technologies, older people can acquire knowledge of their body measurements and

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stay connected with their loved ones. They will be motivated by conducting a campaign and showing simple steps for the usage of mobile phones and the net.

parmarheena277254Thu Sep 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments. Some transitions between ideas can be smoother to improve overall coherence.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing campaigns to teach seniors about technology, you could mention some actual organizations or past successful cases.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and appropriate introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.

task achievement

Your main points are relevant and address both parts of the essay prompt adequately.

task achievement

You provide clear, comprehensive ideas on how technological advancements can benefit the elderly and methods to encourage their usage of such technologies.

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meeting the goal of 7 or more
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meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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