Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary era. That problems are associated with tis? What solutions can you suggest?
Even though there
are
Change the verb form
is
sheer
number of gyms, it is becoming more and more popular. Change the article
a sheer
the sheer
This
essay will discuss the consequence
of Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
this
trend and the solution of
Change preposition
to
this
issue.
As people lead sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
lifestyle
, their health Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
is deteriorating
and they Wrong verb form
deteriorates
are becoming
more vulnerable to disease , especially Wrong verb form
become
to
Change preposition
apply
contegious
Correct your spelling
contagious
one
.Correct pronoun usage
ones
For example
person with poor health can easily catch caught or flu and it will take some days ro
recover Correct your spelling
to
or
be
consuming medicines. Correct your spelling
by
Moreover
, being inactive can lead to obesity, Since they don't burn calories by
physical Change preposition
through
Correct your spelling
activities
activeties
, their body starts producing fat
In my opinion, the best solution to these problems is to promote a healthy and Correct your spelling
activities
an
active lifestyle. Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, encouraging the crowd to exercise more by means of walking and cycling, which should be done by the government.Pavement and bicycle lines can be impoved
and constructed.Correct your spelling
improved
Additionally
building workout areas around the accomodations
, which will be Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
handful
for Add an article
a handful
community
to exercise in their free time.
In Add an article
the community
a community
Summary
I can say that Add a comma
Summary,
this
trend has potential problems releated
to well-being Correct your spelling
related
such
as obesity, and negative effects on people. However
the Add a comma
However,
goverment
can tackle Correct your spelling
government
this
issue by constructing some facilities or improving the presense
.Correct your spelling
presence
present
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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic, but the ideas presented could be more developed and detailed. Try to expand on each point with more specific examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, but the logical flow could be improved. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next with clear connections between ideas.
language
There are several language errors, including grammar and spelling mistakes. Proofread your essay for errors or consider using grammar-checking tools to help improve accuracy.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and complexity to make your writing more engaging. This could help improve both your coherence and task response scores.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, providing a complete structure to your argument.
task achievement
The response covers both parts of the task, identifying problems and suggesting solutions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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