IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary era. That problems are associated with tis? What solutions can you suggest?

#gyms #lifestyle #popularity #era #tis
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Even though there
are
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is
show examples
sheer
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a sheer
the sheer
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 number of gyms, it is becoming more and more popular.
This
 essay will discuss the
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
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 of
this
 trend and the solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 issue. As people lead
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
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lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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, their health
is deteriorating
Wrong verb form
deteriorates
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 and they
are becoming
Wrong verb form
become
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 more vulnerable to disease , especially
to
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apply
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contegious
Correct your spelling
contagious
one
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ones
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.
For example
 person with poor health can easily catch caught or flu and it will take some days
ro
Correct your spelling
to
or
 recover
be
Correct your spelling
by
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 consuming medicines.
Moreover
, being inactive can lead to obesity, Since they don't burn calories
by
Change preposition
through
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 physical
Correct your spelling
activities
activeties
Correct your spelling
activities
, their body starts producing fat In my opinion, the best solution to these problems is to promote a healthy and
an
Correct article usage
apply
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active lifestyle.
Firstly
, encouraging the crowd to exercise more by means of walking and cycling, which should be done by the government.Pavement and bicycle lines can be
impoved
Correct your spelling
improved
 and constructed.
Additionally
 building workout areas around the
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
, which will be
handful
Add an article
a handful
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 for
community
Add an article
the community
a community
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 to exercise in their free time. In
Summary
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Summary,
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 I can say that
this
 trend has potential problems
releated
Correct your spelling
related
 to well-being
such
 as obesity, and negative effects on people.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 can tackle
this
 issue by constructing some facilities or improving the
presense
Correct your spelling
presence
present
.
Submitted by ooorciga1 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic, but the ideas presented could be more developed and detailed. Try to expand on each point with more specific examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, but the logical flow could be improved. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next with clear connections between ideas.
language
There are several language errors, including grammar and spelling mistakes. Proofread your essay for errors or consider using grammar-checking tools to help improve accuracy.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and complexity to make your writing more engaging. This could help improve both your coherence and task response scores.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, providing a complete structure to your argument.
task achievement
The response covers both parts of the task, identifying problems and suggesting solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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