IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Providing Internet access is just as important as other services, such as building roads, so governments should offer Internet access to all of their citizens at no cost. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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In today's world, the
use
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 of technology has become a fundamental aspect of our daily lives, particularly regarding
Internet
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access
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. Whether for work, socializing, or entertainment, we utilize online connections multiple times throughout the day.
However
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,
this
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 does not imply that it is a vital necessity; before the advent of the
Internet
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, society continued to function seamlessly.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that it is not necessary for governments to provide free
Internet
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access
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 to the population.
Firstly
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, the
Internet
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 is used by almost everyone globally as part of their daily routine.
This
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 widespread
use
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 has numerous benefits;
nevertheless
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, it
also
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 brings significant drawbacks.
For instance
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, addiction to the
Internet
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 has become a contemporary challenge, with studies indicating that approximately 30% of users exhibit signs of problematic
Internet
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use
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, leading to negative impacts on their daily functioning.
Moreover
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, research published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior highlights that excessive social media
use
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 is linked to increased anxiety and depression. The benefits we derive from using the
Internet
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 no longer outweigh these negative aspects,
such
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 as a reduced attention span from constant digital stimulation and the emotional distress caused by online interactions.
Secondly
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, another critical aspect of introducing free
Internet
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access
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 to the public is the potential loss of genuine communication and interpersonal relationships. As time progresses, we have become accustomed to the convenience of using social media to connect with friends and family.
Consequently
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, social consequences have emerged,
such
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 as escapism and isolation, which can lead to withdrawal from real-life interactions.
Furthermore
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, a study by the Pew Research Center found that 59% of teenagers have experienced cyberbullying, significantly harming their mental well-being and self-esteem. In conclusion,
while
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 the
Internet
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 has undeniably transformed our lives and offers numerous advantages, it is crucial to recognize the accompanying challenges it presents. The potential for addiction, the erosion of authentic communication, and the rise of mental health issues are significant concerns that cannot be overlooked. Given these drawbacks, I personally believe that the argument for governments to provide free
Internet
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access
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 becomes less compelling.

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Task Achievement
Your arguments are clear but could be further expanded to fully develop your ideas. For example, you could explore how internet access can also help mitigate some of the challenges you mention, such as mental health issues, by providing access to support resources.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the relationship between your ideas is explicit through effective signposting and linking words. Some paragraphs could benefit from clearer transitions that outline how one point leads to the next.
Task Achievement
Your introduction presents a clear stance and contextualizes the issue well, setting a solid foundation for your argument.
Task Achievement
You've provided relevant examples that illustrate the negative aspects of internet use, demonstrating the depth of your argument.
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