Some people think that manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.
Many individuals believe that companies and shopping malls should reduce the amount of packaging for their goods. Whilst, the majority of
people
argue that customers have the responsibility to buy products with
using less packaging. The writer holds the belief that both sellers and customers are going to solve Change preposition
apply
this
problem to save the environment in our world.
Beginning with
sellers have to reduce the materials which they Change preposition
apply
packaged
Wrong verb form
package
to
the product, Change preposition
apply
plastic
material
play an important role Fix the agreement mistake
materials
for
the products, even its cost-efficiency, useful and cheaper for manufacturers easy get access. Change preposition
in
However
, it increased
Wrong verb form
increases
he
big problems for the wildlife where they live, Correct your spelling
the
this
can lead to the
variety of issues for the natural habitat. Correct article usage
a
Instead
of using plastic
which Add a missing verb
is difficulty
difficulty
to recycle and Replace the word
difficult
cause
many Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
effect
to the environment, manufacturers can Change to a plural noun
effects
also
replace it with biodegradable materials such
as paper and bamboo. Furthermore
, these materials can be recyled
to become fertilizer for plants may protect and improve the environment.
Correct your spelling
recycled
However
, some people
make the criticism that costumers have the responsibility to buy goods which less pakaging
. Correct your spelling
packaging
Thus
, people
may active
Add a missing verb
be active
to bring
their own Change preposition
in bringing
bag
when going to the market if they have enough awareness to improve the quality of natural habitat. Fix the agreement mistake
bags
Moreover
, people
may understand the
products which have complicated packaging may Correct determiner usage
that
expensive
. And if they do not want to waste their money, they will choose the basic way that put it in the bag they already wear when going out.
Add a missing verb
be expensive
This
writer give
the opinion that it is more active when Change the verb form
gives
people
aware
Add a missing verb
are aware
the
Change preposition
of the
effective
litters bring to our Replace the word
effects
life
. Despite Fix the agreement mistake
lives
plastic
is
more Wrong verb form
being
convenience
, it causes a big problem for health issues Replace the word
convenient
especially
in the Add the comma(s)
, especially
plastic
box contain
hot food. Change the form of the verb
containing
Bring
their own box, bottle and bag may reduce the money for plastics and improve our health.
In conclusion, there might be two opinions to dropping down the number of packaged things. I still believe that it is more Wrong verb form
Bringing
convenience
and Replace the word
convenient
reduce
cost when buying goods.Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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task response
Ensure that your introduction provides a clearer overview of the discussion. For example, explain briefly why both parties have roles in reducing packaging.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving transitions between paragraphs and within your arguments to achieve better coherence.
task response
Elaborate more on your points with specific examples, especially in the paragraphs discussing the viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your writing to correct spelling, grammatical errors, and awkward phrasing.
task response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, and you provide your own opinion, which is crucial for this task.
coherence cohesion
The essay conveys a genuine concern for the environment, highlighting the importance of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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