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Band 6

If we want to save the future of the planet, we will have to drastically change our way of life. What is your opinion?

#future #planet #change #life
These days, if we want to save the future of the
planet
, we will have to drastically change our way of life. But what is the most effective method to
dealing
Wrong verb form
deal
show examples
 with saving the future of the
planet
? Some people believe that the way we live is not correct and
this
 affects the
planet
. From my point of view, I completely agree and in
this
 essay, I will support my opinion with examples.
Firstly
, we have many companies that reproduce CO2.
For example
, companies recycle plastics and other garbage, in
this
 process factories are reproducing the gas into the air. If we don’t come up with how to deal with
such
 a problem
then
 we will have issues with global warming. Another reason why I agree with the view of the problem is deforestation. We disforest and it
also
 affects the future and no one won’t plant new amount of trees. I strongly believe that
this
 will be stopped. What is more, trees are producing oxygen,
thus
 we can not do any harm to nature.
On the other hand
, we are creating many objects using the trees as a component of
this
 product
such
 as paper. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, we need to invent the other method how we can create it.
In addition
, we need to do the same with factories that release fumes. In conclusion,
although
 it is a common belief that all the reasons that we discussed in previous paragraphs have no effect on the
planet
. Personally, I think that our scientists or engineers will find out
anyways
Correct your spelling
anyway
show examples
 how to change our way of life, and we won’t face any difficulties
such
 as global warming or deforestation.
Submitted by vladkruglovfencer on

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task response
Ensure the introduction provides a clear outline of the main points you will discuss in the essay. Also, avoid questions and informal language.
task response
Your essay should include specific examples to support your points. For instance, provide data or reports that highlight the impact of deforestation or specific actions companies could take.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of the essay. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, use transition words and phrases like "Furthermore," "Consequently," etc.
task response
The essay presents a clear viewpoint and attempts to support it with relevant ideas.
coherence and cohesion
A logical structure is followed with paragraphs focusing on individual points.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the points discussed and restates the opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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