Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier stage. Do you agree or disagree? Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?
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Nowadays, superannuation is determined by pre-defined times by higher authorities. the majority of society is overwhelmed with set
retirement
time
for every employee while
others oppose it and believe that workers need pensions in earlier stages. I completely agree with them. The following paragraph sheds light on the benefits of early retirement
.
to begin
with, there are myriad reasons for early stopping work. Firstly
, some workers do tough jobs that are unfortunately prohibited from fulfilling the basic needs of life
so people prefer to leave the job and lack of freedom to enjoy their life
with family and peers, early retirement
provides time
to relax and spend time
doing that activity which flourishes their mind. For instance
, an army person lives many months without their family and works hard, they do not have personal space. That is
why, it is good to get rid of that hectic routine and make mind healthy. Secondly
, medical conditions make a man get out of their respective employment and make time
to rest.
probing ahead, there are many advantages for those who are doing government jobs that have such
benefits as; enjoying their life
, giving a chance to youngsters, and participating in different occasions. For example
, government teachers are tired from their hectic routine and avoid get-togethers and family time
so they receive early pensions to support their family. Furthermore
, a person starts their business from the allowance and becomes a good entrepreneur.
to sum up
, for the aforementioned reasons, the
initial seclusion has a good effect on mental and physical health. The government should support their society for the betterment of Correct article usage
apply
life
. In the end, I agree that a person needs early age retirement
.Submitted by alviusman18 on
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coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain one main idea that you develop fully before moving on to the next.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clearly and comprehensively explained. Avoid vague statements and provide detailed explanations.
task achievement
You have successfully presented your opinion and provided reasons to support it.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinion.