Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In the modern era,
people
are divided
in
Change the preposition
into
show examples
two groups. Some
people
think that we are getting closer together
while
others think that
people
and communities are becoming more isolated. In
this
essay, I will discuss both sides of
Correct article usage
the arguments
show examples
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
show examples
and draw a conclusion. First of all,
people
who think that the internet has brought
people
closer to each other,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are right.
For example
, your relatives or friends went to another country and
we
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
can use the applications on the internet
such
as Google Meet, Zoom,
Facetime
Correct word choice
and Facetime
show examples
installed on your phone or different social media.
On the other hand
, the drawback of it is that
people
stay in touch with each other but they don’t communicate in real life.
This
is what
people
think about why communities are becoming more isolated. You cannot be closer to someone if you are lying on your sofa. From my point of view, I agree with both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sides of the statement. We need to speak with
people
in real life, go for a walk and make new friends;
However
, in cases when your friends are not in the same place as you
this
is bad, if you
will
Verb problem
apply
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contact
with
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apply
show examples
them using
such
applications that we already discussed in previous two paragraphs. In summary,
although
it is common to believe in only one side of the statement. I truly believe that
people
won’t use only social media to speak with someone but
also
won’t forget about internet applications to stay in touch with
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
relatives. Personally, I trying to find out the way how I can combine
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
two ways of communication.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a more defined structure, with clearer main points and examples supporting those points. Each paragraph should develop a single idea more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction sets up the essay more completely by clearly stating the two sides and your own position. This helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Expand your ideas with more specific examples and explanations which can demonstrate your arguments effectively. This will help in making your points clearer and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in organizing the essay. This shows an ability to structure your writing effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument and also included your own opinion. This shows that you understand the task requirements well.
task achievement
Your language and grammar are generally clear and understandable, which makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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