IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compasions where relevant. Wirte at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compasions where relevant. Wirte at least 150 words.
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The provided line graph illustrates how much raw meat consumed in a European nation from 1979 to 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a decline in consumption of
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 amount of beef,
lamp
Correct your spelling
lamb
show examples
 and fish,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for chicken surpassed beef , making it
turned
Wrong verb form
turn
show examples
 into the most dramatic purchase from 1989 to the
end
Use synonyms
 of the period. The amount of beef
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
eaten
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per person started at 220
grams
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 it
witnessing
Wrong verb form
witnessed
show examples
 a fluctuation in the first ten years
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 before it decreased to 100
grams
Use synonyms
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
 of the period
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the figure for chicken had
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 from just under 150
grams
Use synonyms
 per person to just over 200
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1989 and went up constantly to nearly 250
grams
Use synonyms
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
 of
survey
Add an article
the survey
a survey
show examples
. Approximately 150
grams
Use synonyms
 was consumed
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per person each year in
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
 examined in 1979, with a decline to about 75
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2004.Meanwhile, the figure for fish went down slightly from about 60% to just under 50% and had a gradual maintain throughout the
end
Use synonyms
 of the period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words end, grams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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