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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The graph shows the number of people taking part in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of people taking part in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #part #kinds #sports #region #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given line chart compares data about the
figuret
Correct your spelling
figures
figure
 of people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 played 4
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 types of sport namely, Badminton, Basketball,
Tennis
, and
Rugby
in
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 district between 1985 to 2005. It is
obious
Correct your spelling
obvious
,
Correct article usage
the firt
show examples
firt
Correct your spelling
first
 time
Rugby
 was
popular
Add an article
a popular
show examples
 sport, but in 2005 the Badminto and
Rugby
 had
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
poistion
Correct your spelling
position
 and
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 third
instead
 of,
Tennis
 that
initially
 had second level but
finaly
Correct your spelling
finally
was
Verb problem
became
show examples
 the most famous sport.
According to
 the
Rugby
 line,
Rugby
experianced
Correct your spelling
experienced
experience
 reduced
slight
Change the word
slightly
show examples
 because at the beginning had 250
rival
Fix the agreement mistake
rivals
show examples
however
 the competitor became
lees
Correct your spelling
less
show examples
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 50.
Nevertheless
, in 1985 at
start
Correct article usage
the start
show examples
tennis
Change preposition
of tennis
show examples
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 was 150 so
this
 trend has
moderatly
Correct your spelling
moderately
moderated
 increased so that in 2005 the rival was 230.
Amezingly
Correct your spelling
Amazingly
, in 1995
Tennis
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
Rugby
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
.
Although
, for Basketball and Badminton respectively we can see
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 trend. In fact, in these lines
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 from 90 and 55
player
Change to a plural noun
players
show examples
thereafter
 had rapid
chnges
Correct your spelling
changes
.
Henc
Correct your spelling
Hence
, in 2005 the
competitor
Fix the agreement mistake
competitors
show examples
 were
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
1985
Change preposition
in 1985
show examples
.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tennis, rugby, player with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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