Some people believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to decrease crime while others believe that there are alternatives ways to decrease crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
That belive which is
While
a group of people think being for
a long Change preposition
in for
time
period in prison
is the best way
to fell
crimes, Verb problem
fail
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
another group
believe that there are other solutions to solving Fix the agreement mistake
other groups
this
matter; however
, in my own opinion the first way
is better.
Being in prison
for a long time
period as a punishment can scare criminals to prevent doing that. The time
when somebody are
going to make a decision Change the verb form
is
which is doing
a Verb problem
to commit
crime
by
anxious and for a Change preposition
apply
secound
Correct your spelling
second
think
about the result of itself action can be so helpful for Wrong verb form
thinking
stop
doing that. Wrong verb form
stopping
For example
, two persons
who are Replace the word
people
fiting
and are angry want to kill Correct your spelling
fitting
fighting
eachother
but when they think because of that they have to be in Correct your spelling
each other
prison
fore
Correct your spelling
for
rest
of life they realize Correct article usage
the rest
that is
not a good decision and they may to
Change the verb form
apply
ignor
Correct your spelling
ignore
this
thinking. So in this
way
the amount of Add a comma
way,
crime
will decrese
.
Correct your spelling
decrease
On the other hand
, the other group who
believes there Correct pronoun usage
apply
are
some other Change the verb form
is
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
for
Change preposition
to
decrese
the number of Correct your spelling
decrease
crime
and these ways should be Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
learning
in schools Wrong verb form
learned
that is
a really bad thing doing crime
or even work in people
Change noun form
people's
relaxition
. These types of Correct your spelling
relaxation
majour
absolutely are effective but not Correct your spelling
majors
completly
. Correct your spelling
completely
For example
, with concidering
a child Correct your spelling
considering
whoes
family and teachers always learn Correct your spelling
whose
who's
it
to be Correct pronoun usage
apply
relax
and Wrong verb form
relaxed
it
knows that crimes are worse to do but the Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
when it
is angry Correct pronoun usage
he
she
that
is a very good Correct word choice
apply
time
for making a bad decision. So these ways are so good but they are not enough.
In conclusion, this
punishment that
is a long Correct pronoun usage
which
time
being
in Unnecessary verb
apply
prison
make
less the amount of Verb problem
apply
crime
, however
other ways are effective too but not as much as the first one. I am not a professional in this
erea
and these Correct your spelling
area
persons
must do some Replace the word
people
majourment
before gets late.Correct your spelling
adjournment
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grammar vocabulary
Work on your grammar and sentence structure to avoid errors that can confuse the reader. Also, make sure to use varied and precise vocabulary.
examples
Ensure that your examples are relevant and clearly support your main points. This adds stronger support to your arguments.
clarity
Try to make your ideas more comprehensive and clearer. Make sure each paragraph focuses on one central idea.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are present which helps provide a structure to your essay.
task response
You have made an effort to discuss both views and provided your opinion which is good for task achievement.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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