Some people think that children should learn to paint and draw. Others believe that is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While
some people believe that
children
have to know how could paint and draw, others do not believe
this
opinion and say
that is
not
nessecary
Correct your spelling
necessary
to spend their time with that
also
I believe the rather opinion. Painting and drawing are so fantastic for
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
pleasure times and give them
fill
Verb problem
feel
show examples
like being
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
and calming down. When a person is doing some
artworks
Fix the agreement mistake
artwork
show examples
her or his mind
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
empety
Correct your spelling
empty
because of the activity which is doing
that is
very helpful for our
conceious
Correct your spelling
conscious
. One of the most famous
doctor
Change to a plural noun
doctors
show examples
in England
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
done some
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
on
children
, he
give
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
them a painting book and after one week saw their brain tape and realized their brains work more than
almoust
Correct your spelling
almost
50% better than before painting these books.
On the other hand
, there is a
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
that says painting for
children
is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of time.
Children
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a lot of homework from their
school
and many activities which they do when they are at
school
and there is not enough
tiem
Correct your spelling
time
for doing
another things
Replace the adjective
another thing
other things
show examples
when they come back home and if they
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
do something like painting, they must have less rest
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
. It is very important for them when they are in grow
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
do
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
not
do
Fix the infinitive
to do
show examples
too much activity
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
could
destory
Correct your spelling
destroy
their
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
. In conclusion,
Childreen
Correct your spelling
children
need time to
be relax
Change the verb form
be relaxed
be relaxing
show examples
to be able to learn their lessons in
school
and not to be tried. So it is better for them
focus
Add the particle
to focus
show examples
on some more
imprtant
Correct your spelling
important
subjects
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are their rest and
school
subjects which are usually
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
.
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general
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fine motor skills
  • creative activities
  • imaginative thinking
  • practical skills
  • academic activities
  • broad range of activities
  • latent talents
  • holistic development
  • mandatory arts education
  • innovative thinking
  • education
  • curriculum
  • inherent interest
  • well-rounded education
  • disengagement
  • resentment
  • introducing children
  • beneficial
  • fields beyond the arts
  • latent talents and interests
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