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Band 7.5

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?

#people #life #work #talent #happen #consequences #situation
In many countries throughout the world, young people are pushed into careers that they have no aptitude for, or do not want to do, and there are two main reasons for
this
 situation. The first reason is the lack of tertiary study options. In some countries,
such
 as China, there are limited places available for tertiary study, and those who do not manage to earn a place at the institution of their choice often find themselves studying a subject which does not interest them, or which is a poor match for their skills and aptitudes. The other main reason, which is closely aligned with the former point, is parental aspirations. Many parents push their children into a limited set of career options because these choices represent social success, security and money in later life. In many cases, the skills and needs of the children are ignored, as their parents encourage them to earn places in prestigious, if inappropriate, institutions and to study subjects that are acceptable to their friends and extended family. Some of those children who do manage to jump through all the required hoops find that they are trapped in a career which does not suit their needs or abilities
,
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 and that they can see no escape from the life sentence imposed by a well-meaning family.
This
 can have both personal and social consequences.
Firstly
, unsatisfied workers can suffer from job stress, which drains human potential and may lead to physical and psychological illness. Dissatisfaction and distress
also
 impact their chosen profession and society as a whole, as unhappy and disaffected workers tend not to give their best, and
this
 affects the quality of their work. In conclusion, a person who is pushed into uncongenial work because of social constraints or family pressure is not likely to be a productive and happy member of society. We need to ensure that individual talents and skills are recognised and catered for if we are to have a harmonious and well-developed society.
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task achievement
In the task response, ensure that each point is fully elaborated with specific examples. While the essay currently provides a solid response, increased use of real-world examples could enhance the argument further.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, always check for transitions between paragraphs to ensure the logical flow. While the essay currently does this well, more varied transitional phrases could strengthen the narrative flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
Each main point is well-supported with explanations, contributing to a thorough argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dread
  • passion
  • inherent talent
  • fufilling
  • career
  • job
  • fulfilled
  • unhappy
  • unsatisfied
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • stress
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • self-esteem
  • emotional well-being
  • potential
  • achieve
  • success
  • personal growth
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