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In some cultures, children are more often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message
In some nations,
children
 are informed that they
work
 hard to gain anything. The subsequent paragraphs will explore some
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 benefits and drawbacks of informing
children
 that they try hard to get anything. On the one hand, there are several merits to informing the
children
 that they
work
 hard to gain anything. The first significant merit is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
encouraging their perseverance and resilience by developing their growth mindset and overcoming failure. A second benefit to add is that the students have positive attitudes toward challenges by learning
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 skills and how to adapt
with
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to
show examples
 solving
challenging
Replace the word
challenges
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. A final advantage to mention is that boosting self-confidence and ambition.
On the other hand
, there are several demerits to telling the students that they
work
 hard to get anything. The first primary drawback is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the unrealistic expectations from them and
this
 will lead to stress and pressure on them.
As a result
, the
children
 will be disappointed and frustrated if they can not reach what they dreamed or planned. A second disadvantage to mention is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
neglecting collaboration and teamwork by focusing on individual
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and ignoring the importance of teamwork. A final demerit to add is overworking and ignoring their personal life. In conclusion, encouraging the
children
’s perseverance and resilience, and boosting their self-confidence and ambition are the expected advantages of informing
children
 that they
work
 hard to gain anything.
However
, unrealistic expectations from them and overworking and ignoring their personal life are the expected disadvantages of telling students that they
work
 hard to get anything.
Submitted by aoalsuqaier16 on

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task achievement
Incorporate specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you might mention specific cultural contexts or studies that illustrate your points.
task achievement
Work on enhancing the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are slightly awkward or unclear, and restructuring them could improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitional phrases and ensure a smoother flow between paragraphs to enhance overall coherence. Phrases like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' and 'conversely' can help in this regard.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in framing the discussion effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a balanced approach to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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