In some cultures, children are more often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some nations,
children
are informed that they work
hard to gain anything. The subsequent paragraphs will explore some the
benefits and drawbacks of informing Change preposition
of the
children
that they try hard to get anything.
On the one hand, there are several merits to informing the children
that they work
hard to gain anything. The first significant merit is that
encouraging their perseverance and resilience by developing their growth mindset and overcoming failure. A second benefit to add is that the students have positive attitudes toward challenges by learning Correct word choice
apply
problem solving
skills and how to adapt Add a hyphen
problem-solving
with
solving Change preposition
to
challenging
. A final advantage to mention is that boosting self-confidence and ambition.
Replace the word
challenges
On the other hand
, there are several demerits to telling the students that they work
hard to get anything. The first primary drawback is that
the unrealistic expectations from them and Correct word choice
apply
this
will lead to stress and pressure on them. As a result
, the children
will be disappointed and frustrated if they can not reach what they dreamed or planned. A second disadvantage to mention is that
neglecting collaboration and teamwork by focusing on individual Correct word choice
apply
works
and ignoring the importance of teamwork. A final demerit to add is overworking and ignoring their personal life.
In conclusion, encouraging the Fix the agreement mistake
work
children
’s perseverance and resilience, and boosting their self-confidence and ambition are the expected advantages of informing children
that they work
hard to gain anything. However
, unrealistic expectations from them and overworking and ignoring their personal life are the expected disadvantages of telling students that they work
hard to get anything.Submitted by aoalsuqaier16 on
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task achievement
Incorporate specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you might mention specific cultural contexts or studies that illustrate your points.
task achievement
Work on enhancing the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are slightly awkward or unclear, and restructuring them could improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitional phrases and ensure a smoother flow between paragraphs to enhance overall coherence. Phrases like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' and 'conversely' can help in this regard.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in framing the discussion effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a balanced approach to the discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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