Nowadays,The way many people interact with each other has it changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relation that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development.

The world has been evolving ever since it started and technology is the latest
evolvment
Correct your spelling
evolution
that has impacted the world vastly. it has changed the way
people
converse with each other and mostly in a
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
way. in the past,
people
used to get
together with
each other and share their daily issues and other happenings with each other which kept them away from serious mental issues like depression.
On the other hand
, the current situation is that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
people
just stare at their phones all day and
broke
Wrong verb form
break
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
connection with the world which
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
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has impacted the development of their personality.
On the contrary
, there are some positive sides too which
includes
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include
show examples
the fact that even though
people
do not generally converse much with each other face to face, they sure are connected with each other through technology.
This
helps
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
in some serious cases
for example
in case of emergencies even if some individual is living alone they can use their gadget to talk to someone and notify them about their situation. There are many examples that can be listed here which explain that there is a positive side to
this
Correct your spelling
evolvement
evolvment
Correct your spelling
evolution
as well In gist,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
both positive and
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
sides to it and it depends on us to try to take benefits from the beneficial side only which can be done by going out and
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
real conversations with
people
instead
of getting stuck in the gadgets all day.
Submitted by gpreetmehanger on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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Task Achievement
Develop your main points with more specific and relevant examples. This will help in fully addressing the task and supporting your arguments effectively.
General
Revise the essay to correct any spelling and grammatical errors. Consider using a more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
You addressed both positive and negative impacts of technology on interpersonal relationships, offering a balanced view on the topic.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized communication
  • instant connections
  • physical proximity
  • social media platforms
  • superficial interactions
  • face-to-face communication
  • social skills
  • emotional intelligence
  • professional networks
  • shared interests
  • dating apps
  • organic social interactions
  • anonymity
  • cyberbullying
  • trolling
  • support groups
  • sense of belonging
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