Nowadays,The way many people interact with each other has it changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relation that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development.
The world has been evolving ever since it started and technology is the latest
evolvment
that has impacted the world vastly. it has changed the way Correct your spelling
evolution
people
converse with each other and mostly in a negetive
way.
in the past, Correct your spelling
negative
people
used to get together with
each other and share their daily issues and other happenings with each other which kept them away from serious mental issues like depression. On the other hand
, the current situation is that majority
of Correct article usage
the majority
people
just stare at their phones all day and broke
Wrong verb form
break
the
connection with the world which Change the word
their
in
Change preposition
as
result
has impacted the development of their personality.
Correct article usage
a result
On the contrary
, there are some positive sides too which includes
the fact that even though Correct subject-verb agreement
include
people
do not generally converse much with each other face to face, they sure are connected with each other through technology. This
helps alot
in some serious cases Correct your spelling
a lot
for example
in case of emergencies even if some individual is living alone they can use their gadget to talk to someone and notify them about their situation. There are many examples that can be listed here which explain that there is a positive side to this
Correct your spelling
evolvement
evolvment
as well
In gist, Correct your spelling
evolution
the
technology Correct article usage
apply
had
both positive and Wrong verb form
has
negetive
sides to it and it depends on us to try to take benefits from the beneficial side only which can be done by going out and Correct your spelling
negative
have
real conversations with Wrong verb form
having
people
instead
of getting stuck in the gadgets all day.Submitted by gpreetmehanger on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay would benefit from further structuring to improve logical flow. Try to ensure that the transition between your points is smooth and that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with more specific and relevant examples. This will help in fully addressing the task and supporting your arguments effectively.
General
Revise the essay to correct any spelling and grammatical errors. Consider using a more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
You addressed both positive and negative impacts of technology on interpersonal relationships, offering a balanced view on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.