IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Write about the following topic: The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #internet #communication #media #people #support #development #effects
Social media is a medium through which we keep in touch with our friends and families
as well as
 use as a tool for information. Many people are divided on
this
 topic - some see it as a method for progress, others believe it can bring out the worst in people.
This
 essay will consider both narratives.  In the past, we would become informed by the news.
This
 would be filtered through and approved by editors and we would only be privy to the information we are fed. Social media has changed
this
.
For example
, the unrest in Gaza. Since 7th October
last
 year, our feeds have been flooded with first-hand accounts from people on the ground. Both sides share what is happening, giving the victims a voice. Being able to see the unfiltered news at our fingertips has allowed us to empathise and connect with individuals who may need help. I would say
this
 is a positive outcome of social media.
However
, as much as there is value to unmediated news, there is
also
 a vast amount of propaganda being fed through to our screens.
For instance
, anyone can post anything, and to the uneducated,
this
 becomes gospel. Moderators only view the post if it has been flagged. In
this
 way, misinformation can be spread causing divisions in an already divided world. Personally, I have seen the positives of social networking. I am able to stay informed of current affairs, listening to the voices that yearn to be heard. I believe it is the responsibility of the individual to carry out due diligence to ensure they are not swept up in propaganda,
therefore
 eliminating the negative effects that can arise.
Submitted by Mangalakumaran.sangeetha on

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introduction conclusion present
To improve your introduction, aim to make it clearer by outlining the main arguments you will discuss in the essay. This sets the stage for your readers more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Try to build a more explicitly stated conclusion to summarise the arguments you have presented. This will help in reinforcing your stance and wrapping up the essay neatly.
logical structure
While your points are generally clear, structuring your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and concluding sentences can enhance coherence further.
complete response
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant examples, such as the case of unrest in Gaza, to support your points, which adds depth to your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your main points are well-supported and elaborated, reflecting clear and comprehensive ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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