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Writing Samples
Band 7

These days, fooddays, food travels long distances before reaching consumers, and it is therefore believed that consuming locally grown food would bring about a number of economic and environmental benefits. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages ?

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It is certainly true that packed
foods
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 travel long distances before being consumed by consumers. It enhances our appetite issues, money loss, fuel wastage etc.
Nevertheless
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, if we switch to locally produced
foods
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 can bring great change starting from economic benefits to environmental advantages. In
this
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 essay, we will discuss both sides.
To begin
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 with, locally grown
foods
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 contain fewer pesticides and chemicals as it is produced by the farmers of our locality.
For instance
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, a study conducted by the National Health Ministry of India proved that
,
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apply
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 Individuals who consume locally produced
food
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 had a good appetite with reduced health problems than those who had taken long-travelled
foods
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.
Moreover
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, plenty of money can be saved by focusing on local
foods
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, the reason being it is directly bought from the agronomists leaving no chance of additional costs.
Furthermore
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, it doesn't have to be transported miles of distances saving fuel consumption. And is not covered with plastic wraps, creating an environmentally friendly atmosphere.
On the other hand
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, distance travelled
food
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 could be expensive as it had an immense journey, resulting in the additional cost of fuel, and travelling charge for everything on the item. An article published by the Times of India found that the
food
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 items that travelled long distances had tons of chemical presence than locally grown veggies and fruits.
This
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 study gives an awareness about the importance of health and it should not be compromised or taken for granted. In conclusion, it is good for the environment and our own well-being to depend upon locally produced
food
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 rather than imported
food
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 items.
However
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, a limited variety of
food
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 items can only be consumed through
this
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 process. At the same time, a seasonal diet rejuvenates our body and forges to get rid of the monotonous diet we had.

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between ideas. Sometimes, the essay jumps from one point to another without a clear transition, which can make it harder for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Try to develop your main points with more specific details and examples. This will strengthen your argument and provide a more comprehensive response to the task.
general
Be careful with grammar and spelling errors. For example, 'packed foods' should be 'packaged foods' and 'agronomists' might better be referred to simply as 'farmers'. While these do not majorly impact your score, they can cause some confusion.
coherence cohesion
Good job on presenting a clear introduction and conclusion. This helps frame your essay and provide a clear response to the task.
task achievement
You used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which adds to the quality of your argument.
task achievement
Your essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon footprint
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Fuel consumption
  • Local economy
  • Local farmers
  • Boosts
  • Fresher produce
  • Nutritious
  • Transit
  • Seasonal eating
  • Varied diet
  • Balanced diet
  • Preserve
  • Farmland
  • Green spaces
  • Limited variety
  • Monotonous diet
  • Higher costs
  • Imported food
  • Smaller-scale production
  • Reduced economies of scale
  • Climate constraints
  • Year-round
  • Shortages
  • Natural disasters
  • Weather conditions
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