Some people think that manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Issues related to packaged products are the core argument of citizens throughout the world, especially the responsibility of sellers and consumers.
However
, it is more favours for consumers to reduce pack when buying goods
due to
demand and environmental reservations, more people believe that the problems can be solved by the traders by reducing supplements. The packaged commodities can be cut down on by the buyers in a host of methodologies.
Firstly
, the demand can affect directly the packaged merchandise. More inhabitants have a tendency to package the food as much as possible so if everyone can change their eyesight, the less wrappings can be declined by the citizens.
Besides
,
due to
the high requirements of purchasers, more manufacturers need to wrap the groceries as they want.
Therefore
, we can encourage the residents to replace the packaged products with less packaged products as much as possible.
For example
, in Singapore, the huge quantity of wrapped commodities is decreasing dramatically
due to
the effort of the inhabitants when storing their food in their own packs.
Thus
,
this
country can save a huge of money on packaging.
However
, many humans think it can be tackled by reducing supplements when merchants decide to ease buying the commodities covered by plastic bags, the less packaged merchandise can be propounded as smoothly as possible. If the traders say no to the goods covered by the non-renewable sack, the clients
also
have a trend to change their minds and raise their awareness about environmental matters. From my perspective, buyers need to raise their responsibility
due to
global problems. If they prohibited their favourability as using recyclable materials for covering, they would promote the effort to protect the environment.
For instance
, each year approximately billions of plastic packets are disposed of by humans so if they change their mindset, they can save the world, save nature and the future for younger ones.
Thus
, the community need to pay more attention to
this
aspect as much as possible. In conclusion, customers can help shrink packaged merchandise by cutting down on requirements and issues relating to natural matters rather than declining the supplement of sellers.
Thus
, each individual needs to raise the effort to save the environment by contracting the pack when consuming food.

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coherence
The essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences and better-organized paragraphs. Work on crafting paragraphs that clearly introduce a main point, support it with evidence, and conclude it effectively.
task response
While you have addressed both views on the topic, it would strengthen your argument to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Consider using real-world cases or statistics.
coherence
Transitional phrases are used, but more could be added to improve the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Work on clarity and ensuring each sentence naturally leads to the next.
task response
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt by discussing both viewpoints and offering your opinion. This shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
coherence
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, which is a strong way to close your essay.
coherence
You've made some good use of transitional phrases and cohesive devices to connect your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive packaging
  • plastic waste
  • environmental impact
  • sustainable production
  • consumption
  • eco-friendly lifestyle
  • raise awareness
  • informed choices
  • personal carbon footprint
  • prioritize environmental sustainability
  • reduce packaging waste
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