IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Humans cannot make the natural environment better, unless, the authorities and major sectors play a significant role in it. I completely disagree with the above statement. I would argue that mother nature can be curbed from the damage by individuals preferring to use public transport and transition to electric car usage. Individuals should promote less use of their personal vehicles and migrate to public transportation.
As a result
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,
this
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 will protect the environment by lesser CO2 emissions in the atmosphere thereby decreasing global warming.
For example
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, people in the UK mostly rely on the underground metro rails for short distances
such
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 as commuting to offices, and long travel to different cities, which in turn leads to not polluting the surroundings and making it a better place to live in.
Furthermore
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, people must switch their needs from four-wheelers that run on fossil fuels to electric vehicles. By doing so, they are not only diminishing the burn rate of petrol and diesel but
also
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 willing to use electric cars in their habitat, thereby lessening the air pollution in the world.
For instance
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, it is proven that the emission of carbon dioxide gases is almost zero
while
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 driving Battery Electric Vehicles
such
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 as Tesla, Hyundai, and so on.
To conclude
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, it is not that only governments and business industries can contribute to saving Mother Nature, but people can play their part as well in protecting the geographical area where they live. I believe that one can achieve
this
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 by using public transportation systems over driving cars and adopting automobiles that are battery rechargeable.

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a structured argument but lacks in fully developing its main points. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the thesis statement could be more pronounced. Examples are relevant, yet they need to be expanded upon to strengthen the argument. Work on creating a clearer roadmap in the introduction and a more impactful summary in the conclusion. Depth over breadth will also enhance the essay: choose one or two points and explore them more deeply rather than touching on many with less elucidation.
task achievement
The response addresses the task but misses the opportunity to explore the complexities of individual versus collective action in environmental sustainability. The argument is mostly clear, but stronger idea development would be beneficial. More comprehensive coverage of the topic would provide a more balanced view, and in-depth reasoning would make for a more persuasive argument. Remember to address the essay prompt fully by discussing the extent to which you agree or disagree, which will fulfill the requirement for a complete response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • waste reduction
  • conservation
  • ecosystem
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • responsibility
  • leadership
  • legislation
  • investment
  • collaboration
  • systemic change
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