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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#households #income #information #features #comparisons
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The graph illustrates the number of families by their yearly salaries in 2007, 2011 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total amount of money they earned grew
up
Change preposition
apply
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while
Linking Words
 each group had various numbers of livelihoods.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, families who earned more than $100,000 were the largest group in 2007 and
in
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apply
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2015,
by
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apply
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having nearly 30
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 and approximately 33
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who earned less than $50,000
supassed
Correct your spelling
surpassed
 those in 2011.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
population
Add an article
the population
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of
Change preposition
with
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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salaries between $50,000 to $99,999 remained relatively flat in all periods.
Additionally
Linking Words
, two groups of
people
Use synonyms
 who earned less than $50,000 displayed upward trends,
while
Linking Words
 they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 having slight shifts.
People
Use synonyms
 who earned less than $25,000 had 20
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in 2007, and the number increased up to nearly 25
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2015.
However
Linking Words
, the remaining group had over 25
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in 2007, which went up to nearly 30
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2011 which decreased a bit in 2015.
Submitted by JE on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words millions, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual income
  • households
  • income distribution
  • peak
  • rise
  • fall
  • stable
  • significant
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • economic conditions
  • policy changes
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