Some young people are leaving the country side to lives in cities and towns,leaving only old people in the country side. What problems are caused by this issue. What can be done to solve this issue

Movement from rural to urban
areas
has been witnessed lately
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
by the youths and only the aged are left back in the
village
.
As a result
, the towns are
having
Verb problem
experiencing
show examples
overcrowding and increased
cases
of insecurity. The government should think of adding industries to carb the
cases
of employment and
also
loan the
youngstars
Correct your spelling
youngsters
young stars
with funds that will enable them to employ themselves in the
village
to reduce the migration to the
cities
. First and foremost, city
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
have
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
population day in and day out.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
are coming to search for greener pastures since in the upcountry chances of
gettting
Correct your spelling
getting
work
are limited.
This
has resulted
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of even houses for shelter as most of them have been occupied.
for instance
, a study done by the
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
show examples
of
housing
Capitalize word
Housing
show examples
in Zambia in 2002 on the impact of the
work
on the shelter, showed that most workers were sleeping outside the large buildings when they were not at
work
since the houses were fully occupied.
Further
,
cases
of theft have been witnessed among the city dwellers. Most of the young
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
will move to big
cities
with
intention
Correct article usage
the intention
show examples
of stealing since their families back home will not be aware of what type of
work
they do in the town.
For example
, in the past six months there have been increased
cases
of theft in Algebra town and the
youth
who recently came from upcountry are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
caught in the
cases
and remanded.
For
this
reason, theft and inadequate housing are the major result of urbanisation.
However
, the investors should think of starting
idustries
Correct your spelling
industries
in the
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
so that they employ
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
. By
this
will
also
be able to assist their aged relatives at home. To illustrate
this
, a study done by UN students on the effects of
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
sector on the
youth
in the
village
of Kangeta in Nigeria
1990
Change preposition
in 1990
show examples
, revealed that there was a need to add production and processing firms in the area because there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
none and only the old
people
dominated the
areas
as their children had left to big
cities
.
in addition
, the government could think of
lendering
Correct your spelling
lending
people
money to start small enterprises in the
village
and by
this
, there will be no need to search for job opportunity as they will have employed themselves.
This
was seen In different places in Kenya where the
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
show examples
of
finance
Capitalize word
Finance
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
the
youth
money to start small and medium
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
in their respective
areas
then
they refund with low interest. It has proved to be of great help as there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
minimum
Correct word choice
minimal
show examples
migration to the
suburb
Replace the word
suburban
show examples
areas
.
therefore
, starting firms and funding
youth
will lower the
cases
of leaving their
elederly
Correct your spelling
elderly
parents to search for better
work
in the
cities
and towns.
Submitted by janenjeru6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure there is a clear and concise thesis statement in your introduction to outline the main points of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs by using cohesive devices, such as transition phrases or linking words.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your main points, enhancing the strength and clarity of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work to correct spelling and grammatical errors. Incorrect words like 'carb' should be 'curb' and 'lendering' should be 'lending'.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the causes and solutions to the problem effectively.
task achievement
You have used some relevant examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in reader comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: