Advertisements are increasingly pervasive in people's lives. Explain what problems this trend may cause, and suggest some possible solutions.
In
this
digital era, the number of advertisement
that caught our attention on a daily basis has become more overwhelming in recent years. Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
This
essay will discuss the cause to
Change preposition
of
this
issue and come up with several solutions.
With the increase on
mobile phone use in recent years, Change preposition
in
people
are starting to become more dependent on technology. Unfortunately, this
development contribute
to a significant increase Change the verb form
contributes
of
screen time, especially on social media. In the past, Change preposition
in
advertisements
only appeared on billboards and flyers, unlike recently they start
to show up on platforms, Wrong verb form
started
such
as Facebook and Instagram. This
phenomenon is being utilized by companies to market their products through mediums that are much closer to the consumer. Additionally
, the recent technology manage
to turn smartphones Wrong verb form
managed
to
mini-billboards, yet most Change preposition
into
people
are unaware of this
development. Moreover
, these social applications only charge a small tax for companies to set up their advertisements
, making it easy for big companies to spend a budget that produced
a larger frequency Wrong verb form
produces
for
Change preposition
of
advertisements
.
However
, there are a few concrete steps that could reduce the amount of advertisements
from taking most of the citizens' attention. Firstly
, the government could create a campaign which educates people
about the dangers of mobile phone dependence and addiction. Furthermore
, by decreasing the percentage of screen time, people
will become less fixated on their gadget
. Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
Additionally
, the state should charge a higher tax on commercials, which will reduce the frequency of pop ups
on social media and other internet platforms.
In conclusion, the current technology Add a hyphen
pop-ups
that is
capable of creating addiction
to mobile phones contributes to a significant amount of screen time, making Add an article
an addiction
advertisements
more pervasive and effective. Nevertheless
, there are possible solutions to fix this
issue, such
as creating an effective campaign against mobile phone addiction and charging a higher tax for advertisements
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task achievement
To improve the Task Response, consider making your points more specific and providing more concrete examples. This would make your argument more compelling and assist in better illustrating your points.
coherence cohesion
Enhancing Coherence and Cohesion can be achieved by ensuring that all parts of the essay flow seamlessly from one to another. While you have a good structure, use more transitional phrases and ensure each paragraph logically builds on the previous one.
general
Ensure that there are no grammatical inaccuracies or awkward phrasings. Slight improvements in language can make your essay more polished.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay. This helps the reader understand your main arguments from the outset and provides a strong closing.
logical structure
Your essay is logically structured, with a clear argumentation path. Each paragraph serves a clear purpose and contributes to your overall argument.
task achievement
You touch on relevant issues and provide reasonable solutions to the problem you discuss. This shows an understanding of the topic and a capacity for problem-solving.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example