Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many people believe that junk

foods

Use synonyms

can have detrimental effects on both the individual and society as a whole. They think a solution to

this

Linking Words

problem would be to add a charge to these items at purchase,

whereas

Linking Words

others think

this

Linking Words

is unjust. In my opinion, there is a valid argument for both considerations. To distinguish between certain

foods

Use synonyms

enjoyed by groups of people can be considered discrimination. Those who enjoy partaking in unhealthy eating, do so to themselves without hurting others,

therefore

Linking Words

they should not be marginalised for their choices.

Moreover

Linking Words

, there is

also

Linking Words

an issue of where the threshold lies to consider food groups to be unhealthy.

For example

Linking Words

, a vegan can be versed on the studies to show that meat is damaging to the human body,

whereas

Linking Words

a carnivore can produce articles which show how much good the consumption of the same items can do. There are conflicting beliefs and information and

therefore

Linking Words

without a suitable boundary, it is impossible to say which

foods

Use synonyms

should be taxed and which should not.

However

Linking Words

, there is

also

Linking Words

the logic that those who eat unhealthy

foods

Use synonyms

will feed their loved ones the same dishes.

This

Linking Words

applies to children who do not have a say in what food is put on the table.

For instance

Linking Words

, a child who is brought up on crisps and fizzy drinks will have consumed many more preservatives and chemicals than a child who is given fresh fruit and vegetables.

This

Linking Words

is not the action of the children, but of the caretakers and

therefore

Linking Words

taxing

such

Linking Words

items may deter them from purchasing it. In conclusion, I believe that if there is a viable understanding of which

foods

Use synonyms

fall into which classification, there should be a charge added to the unhealthy category.

This

Linking Words

can force people to be more mindful when choosing what should be consumed, allowing for a healthier society.

Mangalakumaran.sangeethaFri Jun 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

One area to improve is the logical structure of the essay. Try to make sure that the arguments and counterarguments flow more seamlessly into each other. For example, when transitioning from discussing why a 'fat tax' is unfair to why it could be beneficial, use signposting words or phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Conversely.'

task achievement

While the essay offers a balanced view, it would benefit from incorporating additional, more compelling examples. Concrete examples, perhaps from studies or real-life statistics, could strengthen the position you are advocating for. Additionally, try to elaborate slightly more on each point to ensure absolute clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, making it clear what your position is. This adds strength to your overall argument.

task achievement

You offer a balanced view by presenting both sides of the argument, which enriches the discussion and shows critical thinking.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Government intervention
Taxation
Public health outcomes
Revenue
Reinvested
Health education programs
Level the playing field
Regressive
Low-income individuals
Governmental overreach
Infringing
Personal freedom
Education about healthy eating
Subsidizing

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