The tendency of news reporters in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
It is claimed that
media
are more likely to concentrate on reporting news
that contains emergency and negative information but not the positive ones about modernization is
dangerous for society and Wrong verb form
being
people
. This
writer argues that individuals should know about negative news
in order to raise awareness but will not lead to any harmful consequences because of the media
’s notification.
It must be acknowledged that dangers like disasters, crime, etc, can have a negative impact on the community, causing more problems to solve and overwhelm the society system. To tackle this
, the emergency news
is designed to report on the current problems about
these dangers, which are predicted to create destruction in the community. By doing Change preposition
of
this
, the media
can ensure people
’s safety by letting them have enough knowledge and preparation to cope with the concern, help
Correct word choice
and help
reducing
the consequences effectively. Wrong verb form
reduce
For instance
, just about 10 hours before the biggest tropical storm approached, the Indonesian media
reported the news
about it, to help reduce damage with only injured 5 citizens recorded.
Another reason is that the media
can realize what can the problems lead to, so they can adjust the news
just seriously enough to create recognition, but not chaos and too much worry among people
, which can lead to anti-social and critical reactions toward the information. To do this
, any negative news
will get a notification to discourage people
from following dangerous activities,
or hide victims from some sensitive behaviours like sexual harassment to get rid of all misunderstandings. Take BBC Remove the comma
apply
News
for instance
, they just report about the murder that happened in 1998 but not the exact process to not
encourage anyone to follow.
In conclusion, Rephrase
apply
although
there are some concerns that the negative consequences can have a harmful impact, it is obvious that the content that is
conveyed through news
has been controlled to not lead to any following behaviors
or unexpected chaos among Change the spelling
behaviours
people
. However
, it can even ensure that people
know about the problem.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic by discussing the focus of the media on negative news and its impacts. However, be sure to elaborate more on the consequences for society as a whole and contrast it with the potential importance of including positive news.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-structured, the flow between paragraphs could be smoother. Ensure that each paragraph transitions seamlessly to the next. Also, developing each point further and linking them back to your main argument would be beneficial.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help in making your arguments more compelling and concrete.
general advice
Pay attention to your use of language and sentence structure. While the ideas are clear, there are minor grammatical errors and some phrasing that could be more precise.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully introduced the topic and concluded your essay by summarizing your main points. This helps in reinforcing your argument.
task achievement
Your essay shows an understanding of the need to report negative news to raise awareness and ensure public preparedness, which is a strong point.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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