Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

As a result
, the increasing reliance on self-health care, often at the expense of seeking professional medical advice, poses significant risks to individual health.
While
it may seem to work at times, the potential adverse effects cannot be overlooked. These days, people prefer to treat themselves through either traditional or standard measures.
This
is a trend on social media,
such
as consuming basil for a stomach ache or taking pills for a headache without a prescription.
Additionally
, some articles published in the USA show that 57% of residents would rather follow these measures,
while
others argue that most cases of poisoning result from arbitrary consumption.
For example
, in New York, an older woman died
due to
an allergy after taking some pills that were easily accessible in a pharmacy.
Moreover
, medical professionals emphasize that a patient's treatment history plays a vital role in using pills, and it should not be taken lightly
due to
its potential adverse effects on people’s health.
Therefore
, authorities should inform individuals about the consequences of their choices. On one hand, in today's high-tech world, people often do not have enough time to make a medical appointment, leading them to resort to quick measures
such
as searching the Internet and reading published articles.
While
this
can be functional, becoming an expert in
this
field requires long hours of study, and some exceptional issues, which are not dangerous, can be helpful, especially in dealing with skin problems. Considering all factors, it becomes evident that self-medication, particularly without a doctor’s guidance, is a risky path that can lead to health complications.
This
underscores the crucial role of professional medical advice in ensuring our well-being and safety.
Submitted by sarataklimi89 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You provided a clear response to the task, but work on elaborating your arguments more thoroughly across the essay.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, the introduction could better frame the topic, and the conclusion could summarize the main points more effectively.
task response
Support your points with more detailed and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments further. For instance, provide specific studies or expert opinions to validate your claims.
coherence and cohesion
Connect your ideas more smoothly using cohesive devices. This can help in maintaining a natural flow of information throughout the essay.
task response
You effectively addressed the issue of self-medication versus professional medical advice, which shows a strong understanding of the topic.
task response
You included relevant issues like time constraints and the influence of social media, which are pertinent to the discussion.
task response
The essay recognizes multiple perspectives on the topic, and you attempted to provide a balanced view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: