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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

University students often focus on one subject. However, some people think that universities should encourage students to learn a range of other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #focus #people #universities #range #subjects
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In contemporary education, designing a curriculum for university
students
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 has become a heated topic among people in society. Some people believe that focusing on one important
subject
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 is more beneficial for
students
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 to pursue their dreams.
However
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, others argue that learning a
range
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 of other
subjects
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 creates more job opportunities. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both perspectives and provide my viewpoints on
this
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 matter. It is essential that the university offer a
range
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 of other
subjects
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 beyond focusing only on their major
subject
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. Educational institutions should provide various kinds of knowledge for learners to improve their employability. In recent years, some occupations require multitasking skills,
therefore
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students
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 should learn a
subject
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that is
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 up-to-date and can be applied in various careers
such
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 as marketing.
For example
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, content creators not only need strong communication skills but
also
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 require some basic knowledge of marketing and advertising to segment their audiences and boost product sales through advertorial content.
Consequently
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, it is crucial for universities to encourage
students
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 to learn a
range
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 of
subjects
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 by offering a practical curriculum to align with job market demands and help graduates pursue their dreams.
Although
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 encouraging
students
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 to learn an array of
subjects
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 offers various advantages, some people might argue that emphasizing only major
subjects
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 is a more effective education strategy.
Students
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 can become experts in their chosen fields by focusing intensively on essential
subjects
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.
For example
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, It might be unnecessary for a student aspiring to become a computer to learn historical facts
such
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 as the year World War II started or the first UK prime minister engineer. Another consequence is that
students
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 have to dedicate their time to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
subjects
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 that seem irrelevant to their main focus,
such
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 as computer programming, calculus or data analysis. In conclusion, educational institutions, especially universities, should offer a practical curriculum that tailors
students
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' working skills to increase their employability after graduation. By striking a balance between focusing on one important
subject
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 or encouraging
students
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 to learn a
range
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 of other
subjects
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. Educational institutions can help
students
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 explore their interests and prepare for their future careers.
Furthermore
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, I firmly support the idea that universities should offer
students
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 alternative
subjects
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 to enhance their lifelong learning and career prospects.
Submitted by bhavifasai on

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task achievement
The essay provides a substantial examination of both perspectives regarding whether university students should focus on one subject or learn a range of subjects. However, there are instances where the essay lacks clear examples or explanations to fully support the main points. Ensure to elaborate more on examples that directly correlate with the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that transitional phrases and clear connections between paragraphs are consistently applied throughout the essay. For instance, the transition between discussing the importance of a diverse curriculum and focusing on one subject could be smoother.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins and concludes with clear, relevant arguments that address the prompt, maintaining focus on the topic throughout.
logical structure
The essay includes structured paragraphs with clear main points, which makes it easy to follow.
clear comprehensive ideas
The main ideas are presented clearly and discussed, helping to provide a balanced view of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialized knowledge
  • technologically advanced
  • innovation
  • expertise
  • well-rounded education
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • adaptability
  • competitive edge
  • dynamic job market
  • singular focus
  • mental health
  • personal development
  • diverse curriculum
  • self-awareness
  • elective courses
  • primary subject
  • blending
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