IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some members of society say that
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 has changed the way humans communicate and it has a negative effect.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
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 support
this
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 notion and say it has positive effects.
Although
Linking Words
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 could be distracting and could
reduced
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reduce
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face to face
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face-to-face
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 interaction between
people
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, I believe that social
media
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 offers much bigger advantages which
outweighs
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outweigh
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 the negative effects. Nowadays
students
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 and young adults are lost in the world of social
media
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.
This
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 is because social
media
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 can be a place for
people
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 to post and share their personal lives to impress others.
This
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 can soon become
a
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an
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 obsession and distraction from
the
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apply
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real life
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real-life
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 problems.
Furthermore
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, social
media
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 offers chatting privileges through their application, which results in
people
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sending
Correct your spelling
spending
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 time chatting online rather than socializing in real life.
For example
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, a recent survey conducted by Harvard
students
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, showed 75% of
students
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 who performed poorly in school, spend most of their day on social
media
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.
However
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, I think
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 can be a great tool if used properly. The
Internet
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 and social
media
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 have developed software and applications that made it possible
for attending
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to attend
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 job interviews from different parts of the world from the comfort of our homes.
Due to
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which
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this
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 many graduates from lower
social economic
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socioeconomic
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 backgrounds had the chance to become employed overseas.
Moreover
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, through social
media
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students
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 can find communities that share the same interests and help them find solutions for different problems that they are hesitant to share with their friends and families. In Poland,
for instance
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, most of the foreign workers did interviews using Skype,
as a result
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, it saved them a trip and
large
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a large
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 amount of money. In conclusion, the
internet
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 can be a difficult place for
people
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. In my view, if used wisely it can be
great
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a great
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 help
of
Change preposition
to
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 individuals and 
the
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apply
show examples
 society.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance and provides a balanced discussion of both positive and negative effects of social media on communication. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that slightly hinder the clarity of ideas. Make sure to proofread your essay to improve language accuracy.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, ensuring logical progression of ideas between paragraphs can enhance coherence. Consider using more transitional phrases to link your arguments smoothly.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining the logical structure of the essay.
task achievement
Your essay uses relevant examples, such as the survey by Harvard students and the use of Skype for interviews, to support your points.
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