Many people believe that having fixed punishments for all crimes is a more efficient way to deal with crime. What is your opinion?

#people #punishments #crimes #crime

Several

people

agree that strict

laws

and fixed

punishments

for crimes are a better solution to solve a nation’s issues with criminality. In

this

essay, I will convey my thoughts on

this

issue in more detail. In today’s society, many

people

are entangled in various

offenses

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offences

show examples

, violations, and crimes.

This

indicates that the government’s

laws

are not effective and lack proper punishment.

However

this

situation

also

arises

due to

other factors

such

as financial problems, mental health disorders, and impulsive

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. These issues can lead

people

to make mindless attempts to achieve their goals through criminal activities. One reason why stricter

laws

may not be the best solution is that criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

is often influenced by deeper issues. If

criminals

do not consider the

laws

and

punishments

, they are unlikely to be deterred by stricter penalties.

As a result

, simply increasing the severity of

punishments

may not reduce the number of

people

in prison. Former

criminals

may continue to engage in criminal activities if their underlying

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

and mindsets are not addressed. Strict

punishments

alone may not change their attitudes or rehabilitate them.

Instead

, a better solution might be to focus on

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

improvement within a positive environment. Providing productive activities and opportunities for personal development can encourage

criminals

to engage in positive

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

For instance

, education and vocational training programs can equip them with skills needed for gainful employment, reducing the likelihood of reoffending. By addressing the root causes of criminal

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

and promoting rehabilitation, society can hope to reduce impulsive actions and recidivism. In conclusion, I believe that a focus on rehabilitation and positive

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

change is more effective for reducing crime than simply imposing stricter

punishments

This

approach can help both the perpetrators and the government by reducing the prison population and encouraging

criminals

to reconsider their actions before engaging in negative

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Fri Jun 14 2024

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task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides a well-rounded argument. However, it could benefit from a more specific example to support the discussion on rehabilitation programs.

coherence and cohesion

To improve coherence, consider using more transition words to clearly connect your ideas between paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.

task achievement

Your arguments are logical and well-supported, offering a balanced view on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that having fixed punishments for all crimes is a more efficient way to deal with crime. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

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