Many people believe that having fixed punishments for all crimes is a more efficient way to deal with crime. What is your opinion?

Several
people
agree that strict
laws
and fixed
punishments
for crimes are a better solution to solve a nation’s issues with criminality. In
this
essay, I will convey my thoughts on
this
issue in more detail. In today’s society, many
people
are entangled in various
offenses
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offences
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, violations, and crimes.
This
indicates that the government’s
laws
are not effective and lack proper punishment.
However
,
this
situation
also
arises
due to
other factors
such
as financial problems, mental health disorders, and impulsive
behavior
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behaviour
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. These issues can lead
people
to make mindless attempts to achieve their goals through criminal activities. One reason why stricter
laws
may not be the best solution is that criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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is often influenced by deeper issues. If
criminals
do not consider the
laws
and
punishments
, they are unlikely to be deterred by stricter penalties.
As a result
, simply increasing the severity of
punishments
may not reduce the number of
people
in prison. Former
criminals
may continue to engage in criminal activities if their underlying
behaviors
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behaviours
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and mindsets are not addressed. Strict
punishments
alone may not change their attitudes or rehabilitate them.
Instead
, a better solution might be to focus on
behavior
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behaviour
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improvement within a positive environment. Providing productive activities and opportunities for personal development can encourage
criminals
to engage in positive
behaviors
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behaviours
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.
For instance
, education and vocational training programs can equip them with skills needed for gainful employment, reducing the likelihood of reoffending. By addressing the root causes of criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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and promoting rehabilitation, society can hope to reduce impulsive actions and recidivism. In conclusion, I believe that a focus on rehabilitation and positive
behavior
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behaviour
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change is more effective for reducing crime than simply imposing stricter
punishments
.
This
approach can help both the perpetrators and the government by reducing the prison population and encouraging
criminals
to reconsider their actions before engaging in negative
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides a well-rounded argument. However, it could benefit from a more specific example to support the discussion on rehabilitation programs.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using more transition words to clearly connect your ideas between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
task achievement
Your arguments are logical and well-supported, offering a balanced view on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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