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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The map shows what an area looked like in 1986 and in the present. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map shows what an area looked like in 1986 and in the present. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#area #information #features #comparisons
the two maps illustrate significant changes in a particular
area
 in 1986 and now .
it is clear that
 there have been several
development
Change to a plural noun
developments
show examples
 in the
area
 , mainly in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of
this
area
 and
also
 some parts
such
 as
bridge
Correct article usage
the bridge
show examples
 and post office
havent
Correct your spelling
haven't
altered
Add a missing verb
been altered
show examples
. the most
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
 change from 1986 until
Correct article usage
the persent
show examples
persent
Correct your spelling
present
per cent
 is the elimination of the farmland with different animals near the primary school and
also
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 has been extended for more pupils . garden and
large
Add an article
the large
a large
show examples
 house next to the farmland has been replaced with
retirement
Add an article
a retirement
show examples
 home . moving into
further
 detail,
post
Correct article usage
the post
show examples
 office
see
Change the verb form
sees
show examples
 no changes ,
while
 various shops with different usage
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been added next to it.
moreover
,
due to
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 increase in
this
area
 , several houses
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been constructed for the residents around the city .
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
show examples
 it is obvious that
river
Correct article usage
the river
show examples
 stoke and the bridge over it experience
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 figure as before.
Submitted by yasaman.bozorgzad9 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban development
  • residential buildings
  • commercial buildings
  • infrastructure
  • recreational facilities
  • population growth
  • living standards
  • green spaces
  • environmental concerns
  • transportation networks
  • connectivity
  • accessibility
  • economic development
  • land use
  • agricultural
  • vacant lots
  • developed properties
  • functionality
  • economic landscape
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