IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Appearance isn't everything discuss. Give reasons for your answer with relevant examples

#appearance #isn
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In
this
 contemporary epoch, most
individuals
' abilities are judged through their physical
appearance
. A certain number of
individuals
 agree that it is better to do so
while
 others reject the notion.
This
 essay will delve into the benefits and drawbacks of making conduct about a person through their looks.
To begin
 with, the most prominent reason to support the statement that it is better to judge humans through their looks is that folks who spend a large amount of their earnings on their
appearance
 are always more educated and knowledgeable because they give importance to the maintenance of their physical bodies that
further
 help them to get lucrative profits.
For instance
,
appearance
 is everything for celebrities.
Thus
, wearing branded clothes and presenting them in front of the public espouses them to earn money. On the other side, a part of the population says that
appearance
 should not be considered everything because it is
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
 saying ‘Do not judge a book by its cover.’ There are a vast number of people who do not look attractive but are quite talented. Even though some
individuals
 who are not physically fine or are paralyzed are
also
 famous writers, poets or singers.
Thus
, considering
appearance
 everything is not accurate,
instead
, talent should be given utmost importance.
Beauty
Add an article
The beauty
show examples
 of
heart
Correct article usage
the heart
show examples
 should be considered
vital
Correct quantifier usage
more vital
show examples
 than face.
To conclude
, as per the matrimonial mentioned above it all depends on the personal choice of
individuals
. Some consider
appearance
 everything to them
while
 others do not and give more importance to talent.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a decent structure but can be improved by having a clearer thesis statement and better transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay should delve deeper into the analysis of the points mentioned. Adding more detailed examples and exploring both sides of the argument more thoroughly could strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should provide a more definitive stance rather than leaving it too open-ended. Summarize the main points effectively to give a clear wrapping up of the argument.
task achievement
To enhance clarity and engagement, use varied vocabulary and sentence structures. This will also make your arguments more compelling and persuasive.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and uses relevant examples to support points, such as mentioning celebrities and famous individuals with talents regardless of their appearance.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay, with clear paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion, is well-organized.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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