IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs(for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children.) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There are some
people
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 who think that it is better for unpaid
community
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 service to be a compulsory scheme in high schools.
However
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, I completely do not believe
this
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 opinion because
it is clear that
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 doing mandatory jobs could be exhausting and students cannot understand the value of their
actions
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. On the one hand, doing compulsory
actions
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 can make
people
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 exhausted. When teenagers in high
school
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 are forced to do some unpaid
community
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 service, they might think that it is
work
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 that they must do and there are no other options. Doing so has so many bad effects on their mind and
also
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 they do not do these
charity
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 works by all means not make their
work
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 of a high quality.
For example
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, some students in a high
school
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 in my country were forced to clean a park near their
school
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 to be a part of
charity
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work
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 some of them were not happy and did not want to do
this
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work
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, but they had to do and there were no options for them. So, they were not keen on doing so anymore in the future.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 doing unpaid
community
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 service can improve the standard level of life of
people
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, mandatory
work
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 for students cannot keep these
actions
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 for a long time. When teenagers in high
school
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 do
charity
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work
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 voluntarily, they feel better because of their
work
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. They
also
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 realize the value of their creations and clap to do more. They feel even-handed with
people
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 and like-minded when they are doing these
actions
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 voluntarily. In the bottom line, I am exactly disagree with
this
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 matter which is high
school
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 compulsory unpaid
community
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. Because they need to be free
while
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 doing
charity
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work
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 that makes them more confident and good feeling they
also
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 know the value of their
work
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 and clap to do more of these
charity
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 works.

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task achievement
To strengthen your argument, consider providing more specific examples that illustrate your points effectively. This could enhance the level of detail in your response.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured overall, aim to refine the logical sequence between your paragraphs and ideas to maintain coherence smoothly throughout.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the topic, beginning with a strong introduction that conveys the writer's position.
coherence cohesion
The writer offers reasons for their opinion, organizing the essay into distinct points, which supports readability.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main arguments effectively, reinforcing the writer's perspective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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