IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cities #people’s #health
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There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over “ Should it be possible for
people
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 to live in big
cities
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”. In my opinion, I believe that living in big
cities
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 can bring many decent advantages and it can have disadvantages too. Without a shadow of a doubt, Living in big
cities
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 can help
people
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to
Verb problem
apply
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have many opportunities for jobs, relationships and trying new things. Because big
cities
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 have many enterprises which can change
people
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's lives or work.
For example
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, when
people
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 work in a company like Google
and
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or
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 Apple, they can learn new knowledge about technical or technology or can revamp their positions in the future if they try their best and they can meet talented
people
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 in that company who can help them to achieve their goal and
also
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 motivate relationships in between.
Hence
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, it is integral for
people
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 to live in big
cities
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.
On the other hand
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, living in big
cities
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 is widely acknowledged, but its downside still
linger
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lingers
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. Because
,
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apply
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 big
cities
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 have so many cars and motorbikes or even factories that
cause
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 tremendous impacts on human life.
For instance
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, nowadays cars and motorbikes release too much carbon dioxide which can
cause
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 respiratory diseases in humans. And for one real example, our factories produce a large number of
productions
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products
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 which can help our economic growth but it releases many wastes
to
Change preposition
into
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 the river which
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cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 water problems.
Thus
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,
although
Linking Words
 living in big
cities
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 has so many upsides, it potentially has many downsides. In conclusion, Living in big
cities
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 is vital for
people
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 to learn new knowledge or experience a new lifestyle.
However
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, the disadvantages still exist which
cause
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 many bad situations in humans.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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logical structure
To improve your logical structure, ensure that your ideas flow more seamlessly from one paragraph to the next. Use more diverse linking words and phrases to enhance the cohesion of your essay.
relevant specific examples
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Enhance your ideas with additional details and explanations to make them clearer and more comprehensive.
complete response
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt. You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities.
introduction conclusion present
You have structured your essay logically with an appropriate introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your arguments.
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