IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people use private motorbikes or cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can the government encourage people to take public transport? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #motorbikes #cars #transport #trend #government
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The majority of
people
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 prefer to
use
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 their own motorbikes or
cars
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instead
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 of public
transportation
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.
However
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, there are a lot of reasons for
this
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 trend. I will explain the duty of governments to encourage
people
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 to
use
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 public vehicles and give my own idea about
this
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issue
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 with some examples in
further
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 paragraphs. To begin with, it is clear that there are many reasons to
use
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 private vehicles
instead
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 of public
transportation
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such
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 as buses, trains and subways. nowadays, because of modern lives,
people
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 have to multi-task
as well as
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 possible.
Hence
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, they are forced to move fast and public
transportation
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 has delays sometimes.
On the other hand
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, they can not be free in public places.
For instance
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, almost most
people
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 like to listen to their favourite music or stop whenever they want in the middle of the way.
Moreover
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, some
people
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 lose their bags on public transport since these places are so crowded.
Thus
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, they do not take the risk of using public
cars
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. In my opinion, governments should provide more facilities for their own citizens to
use
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 public vehicles
such
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 as fast public
transportation
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, enough oxygen and good quality for
people
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's health and advanced
cars
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. It is my notion that to encourage
people
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, related organizations should increase the tax on private
cars
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. they must decrease the cost of public
transportation
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also
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.
As a consequence
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, most families prefer to
use
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 public transport because it is economical.
Furthermore
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,
this
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issue
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 helps to economic cycle in the world
as well as
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 the economy family. I should refer to less pollution in the
nvironment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
In other words
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, if
people
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use
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 public
transportation
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, pollution of the air will be less. So, we can warranty health in society more.
Additionally
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, pollution affects plants and flowers
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
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. It is undeniable that
this
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issue
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 can destroy the ecosystem too.
To sum up
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,
although
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 I am addicted to driving, I agree to
use
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 public
transportation
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due to
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 its benefits. To be honest, I think all of us are responsible for the environment and our society.
According to
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 my knowledge, first of all, governments should to conscious about using public
cars
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 to
people
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.
Then
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,
people
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 think and decide about
this
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 important
issue
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.
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on

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task achievement
The essay does a good job of discussing the reasons for the increased use of private vehicles and offers solutions for promoting public transportation use. However, try to provide more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your argument. You could mention specific cities or countries that have successfully implemented measures to encourage public transport use.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure in your essay, but the flow could be improved. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. For example, the paragraph beginning with 'In my opinion, governments should provide more facilities...' could be connected better to the preceding one with a transitional phrase.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly outlines the intention of the essay, which helps the reader understand the scope of discussion.
logical structure
The essay has well-defined paragraphs that each focus on a particular aspect of the question, providing good organization.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public transport, private vehicles, convenience, reliability, status symbol, infrastructure, financial incentives, environmental regulations, societal benefits, awareness campaigns, user-friendly
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