The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the trips made by teenagers aged between 5 to 12 years old in the years 1990 and 2010, who used different forms of
transport
system.
Overall
, teenagers used private cars and walked more than other
transport
systems in both years,
however
, the children showed less interest in cycling and walking
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
bus
. Cycling was less used by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters. It is conspicuous that in 1990, children adopted walking as compared to other
transport
systems, it was 12.20
million
.
Secondly
, these children used the
bus
which was about 7
million
in the same year. These passengers used only 4.10million in 1990, which was the lowest among all
transport
systems.
Whereas
, cycling and walking and
bus
were at least 6.1
million
and 4.9
million
respectively. Probing ahead, in 2010, these students us ed private cars about 12.20
million
, which was the highest among all modes of
transport
.
Secondly
, these became more aware of their health and walked about 6
million
in the same year.
In addition
, cycling was the least method used by these students, it was 2
million
in 2010.
Further
,
bus
and walking and
bus
were 5
million
and 3
million
respectively.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "secondly".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words transport, bus, million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trips
  • children
  • modes of transport
  • walk
  • cycle
  • public transport
  • drive
  • car
  • trends
  • decrease
  • increase
  • shift
  • convenient
  • comfortable
  • commuting
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • significant
  • indicate
  • reasons
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • 20-year period
  • doubled
  • considerable margin
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