In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the popluation in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
This
is becoming a modern trend in many pieces of the world, Linking Words
that
more and more habitats of the countryside are moving to urban areas for a better life. Correct word choice
and
This
essay believes that Linking Words
this
movement has more drawbacks and negative consequences than plus points, considering its negative effects on the agricultural sector and city infrastructure.
On the one hand, mass relocation of the population to cities may lead to an erosion of cultural heritage and national identity. Traditionally, people living in rural areas are much more connected with their roots, cultures and traditions. Moving to busy cities and adopting to new reality, people losing their traditional way of living and keeping their normal routine. Linking Words
For instance
, Linking Words
due to
the shift work schedule, which is Linking Words
tipical
of many entry-level jobs and long commutes, they may not be able to visit a church mass every Sunday morning or pray every afternoon as they used to do back home.
Correct your spelling
typical
On the other hand
, the constantly increasing urban population puts significant pressure on city infrastructure and demands additional funding for development and maintenance. Substantial investments in infrastructure may not always keep pace with the population growth. Pollution, traffic congestion, and inadequate housing exacerbate people's living conditions in megapolises.
In conclusion, depopulating rural areas negatively influences both the countryside and cities Linking Words
due to
the lack of cultural aspects and traditions, which are crucial for human beings, Linking Words
as well as
putting enormous pressure on city transport and living Linking Words
source
. Correct your spelling
resources
Therefore
Linking Words
this
trend should not be welcomed and should be considered as detrimental.Linking Words
Submitted by lea12nz on
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general
Overall, your essay is fairly well-structured and conveys your main ideas clearly. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that slightly hinder readability. Revising these errors could enhance the quality of your essay.
task achievement
Try to avoid using colloquial phrases such as 'plus points,' and aim for more formal vocabulary, like 'advantages' or 'benefits.'
task achievement
Pay attention to maintaining consistent verb forms and subjects throughout the paragraphs. For instance, 'habitats' should be 'inhabitants,' and 'adapting' instead of 'adopting.'
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the coherence and cohesion by using linking words and phrases effectively, such as 'therefore,' 'however,' and 'on the contrary,' to make the transitions between paragraphs smoother.
task achievement
Your essay offers a convincing, balanced argument that weighs both sides of the issue.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that complement your opinions well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame your arguments effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.