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Writing Samples /
Band 5

You are planning a holiday in another country and would like a friend to accompany you. Write a letter to the friend asking him/her to join you and explain: - Why are you taking a holiday? - What is your holiday plan? - Why would you like him/her to go with you?

#holiday #country #friend #plan
Dear Desi, I hope you are doing great, long time
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 see I remember the
last
 time I met with you
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
 summer. First I am writing
this
 letter to tell you about some of my
plan
Change to a plural noun
plans
show examples
.
That is
 I will
going
Change the form of the verb
go
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to
Change preposition
on
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 holiday next month to
Sembalun
, as you know,
Sembalun
 is the best place I want
visit
Add the particle
to visit
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 and I want you able to join
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
me. let me tell you about what we will doing. As you know.
lately
Add a comma
lately,
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 I feel very
boried
Correct your spelling
bored
, and tired because of my
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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. that way I want
going
Change the verb form
to go
show examples
 to some picturesque
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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,
such
 as
Sembalun
. I hear
Sembalun
 is
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 village
surrounding
Wrong verb form
surrounded
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 by
breathking
Correct your spelling
breathtaking
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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 and
faboulus
Correct your spelling
fabulous
 hills. I will be going to the place as soon as possible, I have
plan
Add an article
a plan
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for booking
Change preposition
to book
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 some vila and we can stay 3 days here. not only that I
also
 want go to hiking the Nanggi Hill and Savana. do not
wory
Correct your spelling
worry
 about the equipment , I
am
Verb problem
have
show examples
 already
fix
Wrong verb form
fixed
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 it. The reason I would like you to go with me
because
Add a missing verb
is because
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, you know I am not very know about the village. and you have
go
Wrong verb form
gone
show examples
 to
Sembalun
 before. So, I think you can help me find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good vila and
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 place
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
. Thank you for your attention and I am Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Sincerely Nurul
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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task achievement
Try to improve your grammar and sentence structure. For instance, "I will going to holiday" should be "I will be going on holiday".
coherence cohesion
Work on your paragraph structure. Some paragraphs have multiple ideas which can confuse the reader. Separate your points clearly.
task achievement
The letter has a friendly and suitable tone which is appropriate for the task.
task achievement
You've included all the necessary points: reason for the holiday, the holiday plan, and why you want your friend to join you.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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