n developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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There are many debates about helping
children
in some small villages to have the chance to study
. Some individuals think that to tackle the issues, the government should supply more schools
and teachers
. However
, others believe that providing technology devices such
as computers
and network systems can be a more ideal solution. In this
essay, I will consider both points of view and present my perspective.
To begin
with, one of the biggest reasons why the authorities should construct more schools
is because this
will bring benefits for students
who live in terrain areas and struggling roads. Nearby schools
allow local children
to have the opportunity to approach education more easily. For instance
, children
in rural communities in Vietnam have to spend about 1-2 hours walking to school through very dangerous roads. Moreover
, providing more teachers
should be an essential requirement for rural students
due to
the fact that the majority of their parents do not have enough knowledge to teach them as they did not have the chance to study
in the past. As a result
, teachers
are guidance and help children
study
more effectively. However
, tuition fees can be a huge problem as most families living in small villages have low outcomes and can not afford the amount of money for studying.
Conversely
, saving the budget can be the biggest reason for supplying computers
and Internet access for children
living in rural communities. Computers
and network systems offer for
Change preposition
apply
students
diverse learning resources and educational tools without paying any fees. For example
, e-books or
Correct word choice
apply
also
known as online books give students
the opportunity to read any kind of book such
as historical or fairy tales freely. In addition
, it will be more convenient for rural students
to have computers
to study
due to
the fact that we can quickly find online learning platforms and educational programs on the internet. One of the excellent examples is some free online courses on Youtube which help students
to access education more easily and do not cost them any money. Although
studying by yourself can be difficult as computers
have many entertainment platforms, it will require students
to have self-discipline skills. To illustrate, nowadays, some teenagers can be distracted by video games and forget to do important activities such
as finishing their homework.
In conclusion, building schools
and having more teachers
can help children
to
lessen the distance between homes and Verb problem
apply
schools
and also
help them study
more efficiently. However
, I believe equiping
Correct your spelling
equipping
remoted
learners and Correct your spelling
remote
teacher
with internet-connected Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
computers
might tackle this problems
.Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses clearly on a single point. The first and second body paragraphs, while informative, can be more concise and not repeat points.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points with specific and varied examples that support your argument thoroughly. Use examples that are more detailed and directly applicable.
task achievement
Maintain a formal tone throughout and avoid conversational phrases like 'nowadays'. It will make your essay sound more polished and academic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states both views and the writer’s intention to discuss each one before giving an opinion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively restates the main arguments and provides the writer’s opinion in a concise manner.
task achievement
Demonstrates an understanding of the task by discussing both perspectives and providing a clear opinion.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.