IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and table below give information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and table below give information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram and table provided helpfully lay out the percentage of
tourists
Use synonyms
 that
stays
Correct subject-verb agreement
stay
show examples
 within the resort based on their region of origin. Each origin
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 different traits
such
Linking Words
 as average length of stay, most popular
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
, and their main activities. Let us start by examining the pie chart. As we can see, the chart is divided into 4 portions, which are Asia, Europe,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
, and other countries.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most people that stay within
this
Linking Words
 establishment
originates
Correct subject-verb agreement
originate
show examples
 from Asia, taking up to 37%.
Then
Linking Words
, the second most common origin is Europe, just a little shorter than the previous region, which is 35%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
overall
Linking Words
Use synonyms
tourists
Correct quantifier usage
number of tourists
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, the third one is
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 and the
last
Linking Words
 one is people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 from various origins. Moving on to the
next,
Linking Words
we can see from the table that European
tourists
Use synonyms
 often stay the longest, averaging
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
16 days.
While
Linking Words
, Asian
tourists
Use synonyms
 tend to stay the shortest, usually around 7 days.
However
Linking Words
, during their vacation, Asians often stay at the 5-star hotel.
Although
Linking Words
 the establishment
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 5 and 4-star hotels, camping and
caravan
Fix the agreement mistake
caravans
show examples
 have
also
Linking Words
 become a popular choice of
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 by European and other
tourists
Use synonyms
 which comes from different regions.
Lastly
Linking Words
, each tourist groups have various main activities. Asian and US
tourists
Use synonyms
 often come for sightseeing.
Then
Linking Words
 the Europeans mainly
swims
Change the verb form
swim
show examples
 and
sunbathes
Correct subject-verb agreement
sunbathe
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the
tourists
Use synonyms
 from other regions
favors
Change the verb form
favor
show examples
 surfing. In conclusion, the chart and table
describes
Change the verb form
describe
show examples
 the tourist groups that
stays
Change the verb form
stay
show examples
 within a holiday resort, along
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 of their characteristics.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stays" was used 7 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • comparison
  • spike
  • drop
  • correlation
  • seasonal variation
  • demographics
  • tourist influx
  • resort
  • holidaymakers
  • visitor statistics
  • notable changes
  • fluctuation
  • steady growth
  • decline
  • peak season
  • off-peak season
  • international tourists
  • domestic tourists
  • external factors
  • economic conditions
  • political climate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: