Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

#people #money #happiness

In the modern era, money is the most valuable resource. Many people think that money can be the reason for

happiness

and others think that it cannot be. In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides and give my opinion. On the one hand, funds

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

obviously cannot be

happiness

and let’s discuss why so.

Firstly

, what is

happiness

? I can define it as

the

Correct article usage

show examples

condition

such

as feelings, emotions or mood. All of these states you cannot buy.

Moreover

, it depends only on you and funds won’t solve the problem of your bad mood.

For example

, if you have lost someone from your family you cannot return

this

person back by any

amounts

Fix the agreement mistake

amount

show examples

of cash.

On the other hand

, if you have financial stability

this

can make your life easier. You can afford any model of luxury cars, types of drinks and modern houses. For some people

this

happiness

Nevertheless

, these things only will let you be happy or feel emotions just for a moment. I partially agree with both sides. I honestly believe that financial stability can make your life easier. By

this

Add a comma

this,

show examples

you can afford everything except health.

Moreover

, you will be able to attend different events,

travel

Correct word choice

and travel

show examples

around the world and won’t need to count cash.

However

, many things exist that you cannot buy

such

as friends, relations,

health

Correct word choice

and health

show examples

but you can take care of it. In summary, we discussed the definition of

happiness

and the reasons why being rich does not lead to

happiness

. Personally, I believe that the pros of being rich outweigh the cons.

Submitted by vladkruglovfencer on Sat Jun 15 2024

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task achievement

Expand on your examples. For instance, when you mention that money can't bring back a loved one, delve deeper into how emotional connections and experiences contribute to happiness.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that all main ideas are clearly supported. Your mention of financial stability is good, but explain more thoroughly how it contributes to an easier life and whether this truly equates to enduring happiness.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, ensuring that the essay is framed well.

logical structure

Your essay has a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects, other people think that in today's word, subjects like science and technology are more important than history Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and polution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What ather measures do you think might be effective.

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.