International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not.What are your opinions on this?

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Nowadays, overseas travel is more popular towards society , unlike the previous times.
Consequently
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, we would rather meet more people
that
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who
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do not seem to originate from our country,
as well as
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we are aware that many of our relatives prefer to go abroad to spend their leisure time. Many people, especially in Indonesia, feel that
this
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trend creates negative impacts on the domestic nation.
However
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, I would argue that cross-border tourism benefits the local society for two essential reasons.
To begin
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, allowing foreigners to visit our nation could give the opportunity to various companies to gather more buyers beyond the tourism sector. Aside from
this
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business, other industries like food and beverages,
together with
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apparel and textiles will be better off.
For instance
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, overseas tourists who are visiting Bali would not be only curious about the attraction places, but
also
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about Balinese traditional clothing as a part of the culture.
Therefore
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, the foreign visitors would enhance revenues originating from multiple sectors in the home country.
Secondly
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, the government's generous access in giving locals a chance to travel abroad would enrich their experience in terms of learning different cultures and customs in the destination country.
Moreover
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,
this
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could boost their confidence in interacting with foreigners
as well as
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dealing with situations that are not familiar to them.
For example
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, Indonesian individuals who come to Japan for vacation tend to have more polite etiquette in dealing with their surroundings once returning
to
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apply
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home.
Thus
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, as the locals gain more life lessons from other places, the more moderate will the society be.
To sum up
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, better economic performance and richer ways of life could only happen if international mobility existed.
As a result
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, the local people will benefit from
this
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practice. If a nation keeps boundaries to the outside world,
then
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it would be challenging to grow in the future and be left behind.

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that relevant specific examples directly relate to and strengthen your arguments. A more detailed explanation of how tourism impacts the economy and individual learning experiences would make the essay stronger.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, improve the logical structure by using more varied and appropriate linking words. This will help the essay flow more smoothly between points.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on both opposing views briefly to provide a balanced discussion before delving into your argument. This will demonstrate a more comprehensive approach to the essay prompt.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented and well-structured. The essay does a good job of framing the discussion and summarizing the main ideas.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical progression of ideas, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific point that supports the overall argument.
supported main points
The main points are generally well-supported, providing a cohesive argument throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • cultural exchange
  • economic impact
  • hospitality sector
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental degradation
  • local economy
  • global understanding
  • seasonal fluctuations
  • tourist influx
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