You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company.

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Dear Sir, I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to show my willingness to change my

department

Use synonyms

from customer-dealing to

system

Use synonyms

management. At the onset, I have been working in the current customer handling

department

Use synonyms

for two years and I have gone through numerous technological issues

along with

Linking Words

the related rules of our

department

Use synonyms

. Owing to

this

Linking Words

, a number of nearby branches most of the time call up to me to get quick solutions. I am certain that

this

Linking Words

shift will be very beneficial

to provide

Change preposition

in providing

show examples

timely support to all my colleagues.

Moreover

Linking Words

, since I know the

ground level

Add a hyphen

ground-level

show examples

working and issues, I can explain the loopholes of our

system

Use synonyms

to the developers of the

system

Use synonyms

management

department

Use synonyms

which can enhance the service quality and database accuracy.

Lastly

Linking Words

, I do not ever think of leaving

this

Linking Words

prestigious company as it is well-equipped with advanced technology.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I can grow well in the

system

Use synonyms

expert field

while

Linking Words

staying here in

this

Linking Words

company.

However

Linking Words

, it can only be possible if you allow me to shift my

department

Use synonyms

. I hope you will consider my genuine reasons and permit my transfer. Yours sincerely, Jacob Brown

Mrjit147Mon Sep 30 2024

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task achievement

You did a great job explaining what you have learned in your current role and how the company could benefit from moving you to a different department. However, try to add a bit more detail or examples to make your argument stronger.

coherence cohesion

Your letter is generally coherent and each paragraph addresses a single idea. However, working on the logical structure a bit more to ensure a smooth transition between your points would make your writing more engaging.

coherence cohesion

Your greeting and closing are formal and appropriate for the context.

task achievement

The writing tone is very suitable for a professional letter to a manager, which shows respect and purpose.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

189 words

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