IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media? Đ

#rise #media #platforms #people #vent #frustrations #complaints #consequence #trend #benefit
Nowadays, more and more
people
 take advantage of social networking sites to express their anger and disagreements.
This
 essay
attemps
Correct your spelling
attempts
 to shed light on
this
 tendency before clarifying its
updowns
Correct your spelling
up-downs
 for those
people
. Posting
individuals’emotion
Correct your spelling
individuals
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social platforms is to blame for some consequences that they have to handle
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Firstly
,
this
 trend would make
people
 isolated in virtual
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 or even in their real
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. To illustrate, there normally
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 two groups of
people
 who agree or disagree with
poster
Correct article usage
the poster
show examples
, so the group of
people
 who disagree will reflect and attack the
person
 who posted the post, which unintentionally puts pressure on the
person
 posting and makes them depressed and afraid to express their emotions.
Secondly
, expressing emotions on social networking sites can
also
 affect the lives of the subjects mentioned.
This
 is because
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is just a statement from one side without any evidence or verification from the other side, thereby causing misunderstandings
for
Change preposition
among
show examples
 viewers and causing them to attack that
person
 and causing the
person
 mentioned to become depressed and anxious.
However
, there are a few benefits for
people
 who post on social networks.
The one
Correct article usage
One
show examples
 benefit is that
this
 action could reduce stress and tension in
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
life
.
This
 is because they could share their unsatisfactory things in
life
 with
people
 online who don't know about their real lives, thereby they would receive words of agreement that will make themselves more comfortable.
In addition
, complaints from individuals can
also
 be a warning to other individuals about things that are wrong and untrue in
life
.
For example
, when eating at a restaurant,
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
 only receives poor quality and unhygienic food, which affects their health,
then
 posting their complaints on social networks will help readers stay away from those restaurants or help that restaurant have a more humane way of doing business. In
counclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, there are several outcomes behind
this
 tendency, and it is advantageous for
people
 in their feeling and their
life
.
Submitted by lethiphuonguyen0098 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid misunderstandings. For instance, 'they have to handle it' could be rephrased more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by making smoother transitions between sentences and ideas. This will make the essay flow more naturally.
task achievement
Incorporate more concrete examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and provide better context.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion were both present and connected well to the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the question, discussing both the consequences and the benefits of expressing complaints on social media.
task achievement
The main points were relevant to the essay topic, touching upon emotional isolation, reduction of stress, and warnings to others.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accountability
  • Public venting
  • Reputation management
  • Social media platform
  • Complaining culture
  • Community solidarity
  • Conflict resolution
  • Entitlement
  • Direct communication
  • Customer service
  • Exposure
  • Misinformation
  • Amplification
  • Systemic issues
  • Constructive feedback
  • Online atmosphere
  • Negative content
What to do next:
Look at other essays: