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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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For several countries, economic growth is the most crucial purpose,
whereas
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, a group of individuals present the view that other types of improvements are of paramount importance for a
country
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. I strongly agree with the latter opinion. On the one hand, some
people
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 justifiably argue that there are numerous factors which are pivotal for a
country
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.
For instance
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, environmental issues are something that
people
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 are experiencing every day and should be emphasized as equal to economic problems.
Nevertheless
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, development in cultural and historic parts of a
country
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 has many significant benefits,
for example
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, if the culture and history of a
country
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 become well-known among
people
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 of the universe, the tourism industry and many other areas of a
country
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 will see substantial economic and financial improvements.
On the other hand
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, some governments have the idea that improvement in the economy of a
country
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 is the only essential purpose of them and
people
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’s welfare can only be acquired by
this
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 particular progress. It is an undeniable fact that economic growth is necessary for every
country
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,
however
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, there are many other factors which are crucial in the standards of living in a
country
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such
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 as health, environment, culture and many other things. I believe, a
country
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 would develop, if almost all areas of it improve simultaneously and, in that case,
people
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 would feel true happiness.
To conclude
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, in my view, there are many key factors which are essential for a nation’s greatness and should be emphasized equally,
moreover
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, if a
country
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 focuses solely on its economy and its growth, it will not create a great life for its
people
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.

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task achievement
Enhance the use of specific examples to support key points more effectively. Including relevant real-world examples or data can help strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to enhance overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are strong, consider further developing the main body paragraphs. This can be achieved by expanding on points and offering more detailed explanations.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the issue and presents a viewpoint, which sets a clear direction for the essay.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reaffirms your stance, providing a clear closing to the essay.
coherence cohesion
Cohesive devices are used well throughout the essay, making the text easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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