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Band 7

The best way to solve world’s environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree?

#world’s #cost #fuel
Many
people
 believe that increasing the cost of
fuel
 helps with environmental
problems
. I completely disagree with
this
 statement and in
this
 essay, I will try to present my arguments. Of course, a lot of
people
 say that increasing the price of
fuel
 could help solve environmental
problems
.
This
 is predicated on the assumption that higher
prices
 of
fuel
 force
people
 to use public transport. I believe that most
people
 use their cars because they do not have any alternatives, so when
prices
 become higher they still will be using their cars. Very often
people
 use their vehicles when they have to get to their jobs or transport someone or something, in
this
 particular case public transport is not a solution.
Furthermore
, the fact of increasing
fuel
prices
 will have a very low impact on the level of consumption.
Additionally
 in my opinion there are a lot of more effective ways to reduce environmental
problems
 like alternative energy sources. I believe increasing the cost of
fuel
 hits every single person even if they don't have a car. Services and food
prices
 rise
due to
 the cost of
fuel
.
On the other hand
 when governments invest in alternative sources of power.
This
 type of energy can really cause the level of pollution can decrease and
people
 do not have to pay additional costs for
fuel
. In conclusion, it is a mistake to assume that increasing the price of
fuel
 is the best way to solve environmental
problems
 because the key to solving these issues is to develop renewable energy.
Submitted by dariusz.slusar on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas can be improved. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain coherence.
task achievement
While your arguments are relevant, they could be supported with more specific examples and evidence. Try to provide statistics, case studies or detailed scenarios to make your points more compelling.
language
Minor grammatical improvements could enhance readability. For instance, the phrase 'Very often people use their vehicles when they have to get to their jobs or transport someone or something' could be rephrased for clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and maintains this position throughout.
structure
The introduction effectively sets up the main argument and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the key points.
coherence
Good use of connecting words and phrases to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • disproportionately affect
  • renewable sources
  • solar energy
  • equity in environmental policies
  • exacerbating social inequalities
  • incentivizing
  • subsidies
  • strict regulations
  • industrial emissions
  • sustainable local production
  • carbon footprints
  • punitive measures
  • sustainability efforts
  • robust and lasting changes
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