IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that urban areas offer a better quality of life compared to rural areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that urban
areas
Use synonyms
 offer a better quality of life compared to rural
areas
Use synonyms
. To what extent do you agree or disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view? Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 have started thinking a lot about the environment and just about the standards of living.
That is
Linking Words
 why many
people
Use synonyms
 often choose
living
Change the verb form
to live
show examples
 in rural territories,
while
Linking Words
 others consider that big cities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the best place to live. Let us compare both points of view. Personally, I cannot say that a megapolis is the most
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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 location because of the air pollution and chords of citizens in the central districts especially. It is
also
Linking Words
 not easy to live far away from a
city
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the necessity to get to the office, shops, hospitals and other essential places.
However
Linking Words
, many citizens enjoy spending their lives in the country house because of the nature and freedom. Loud
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
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 or just tourists get on
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 nerves, but when
people
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 have a hectare of your soul where you can avoid all problems living separately in peace with
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
nature.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 just cannot cope with exhaust gases, so their organism really needs to live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better environmental conditions.
That Is
Linking Words
 why it
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 highly popular to live in residential
areas
Use synonyms
 near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Moscow,
such
Linking Words
 as Sber
City
Use synonyms
, where developers and Sberbank want to create a small village with parks and
pounds
Correct your spelling
ponds
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, many business
people
Use synonyms
 spend their life in cities because it is the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of big corporations.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New York, London or even Moscow you can easily visit
offices
Correct article usage
the offices
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 of key market players in a short period of time because all of them work on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Wall Street,
City
Use synonyms
 in London or Moscow
City
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
lifestyle
Correct article usage
a lifestyle
show examples
 requires living next to the core of the
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 of business in the country. All in all, it needs to be said that some
people
Use synonyms
 can easily travel,
live
Correct word choice
and live
show examples
 in distant
areas
Use synonyms
, but some professionals need to sit in the office and control their business. Anyway, if you live in the suburbs, it
takes
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not so much time to get to the
city
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 if you really enjoy walking there, but it is
also
Linking Words
 easy to live on the dacha on weekends spending time with your family.
Thus
Linking Words
, everyone chooses what he or she loves the most.

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task achievement
While you have addressed both sides of the argument, make sure to provide a clear stance on whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Explicitly state your position in both the introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, but ensure that each paragraph has one clear main idea and that your points logically flow from one to the next. Use linking words more effectively to improve coherence.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your introduction to make it more engaging and provide a clearer roadmap for what your essay will cover. Similarly, strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points and reiterating your stance clearly.
task achievement
You have addressed both urban and rural living, making a balanced comparison between the two, which is excellent for task response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your argument and making it easy to follow.
task achievement
You have mentioned specific places and examples, like Moscow and Sber City, to make your argument more relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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