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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below give information about children under 18 learning musical instruments in one region of the UK in 1996 and 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant .

The charts below give information about children under 18 learning musical instruments in one region of the UK in 1996 and 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant .
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The pie and bar charts illustrate information about juveniles' tendency towards learning musical instruments and the favourite
unstruments
Correct your spelling
instruments
instrument
 for learning in the UK in 1996 and 2016. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, the figure of
leaners
Correct your spelling
learners
show examples
 increased from 1996 to 2016.
In addition
Linking Words
, their preferences towards the most popular musical
instrument
Use synonyms
 changed from a
piano
Use synonyms
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a keyboard. In 1996, learning musical instruments
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 not
Correct article usage
a minors'
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minors'
Change noun form
minor's
show examples
priorities
Fix the agreement mistake
priority
show examples
 and just 44%
among
Change preposition
of
show examples
 offspring were
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in
leaning
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learning
show examples
this
Linking Words
 skill.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a keyboard was a popular
instrument
Use synonyms
 among them, accounting for 30%, followed
a
Change preposition
by a
show examples
piano
Use synonyms
 at more than 20%. In stark contrast, 'other' was the least favourite
instrument
Use synonyms
, at less than 5%. It is readily apparent that the ratio of educators
noticably
Correct your spelling
noticeably
rose to 76% in 2016, from 44% in 1996. As the popular
instrument
Use synonyms
 had been a
piano
Use synonyms
 in 1996, it changed into a keyboard, at 30%, and the
piano
Use synonyms
 ranked
the
Change preposition
as the
show examples
 second favourite one.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 'other' and
also
Linking Words
 an acoustic guitar was ranked bottom, lower than 5%.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words instrument, piano with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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