Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measure do you think might be effective?

Nowadays, two of the most common headaches to society are definitely increasing traffic congestion and contamination problems. For some, the most effective way to solve the given issues is by uplifting the price of gasoline, and for me, I partly agree and partly disagree with the opinion.
Moreover
, to my knowledge, there are still some other methods to fix
this
, and in the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my view of thinking.
Firstly
, one of the factors to account for why I don’t concur is definitely related to the higher price of products, or commodities. When applying the method, the transportation fees will
also
be equivalent to the rising cost, and
as a result
, making citizens suffer from extravagant goods and might even give the economy a difficult time resolving the case.
However
, it is undeniable that there is still something positive regarding the given measure. Clearly, nobody would be delighted to pay an extra amount of money just to travel to within-reach destinations, and with fewer vehicles around, we could get a better opportunity to experience less suffocating scenes,
therefore
, ameliorating our respiratory activities. In short, I believe that
this
method possesses both disadvantages and benefits, so it is not really the best one with regard to fixing pollution and congestion.
Secondly
, some of the alternatives that have been developed and gained more attention from global residents are actually taken from natural resources, namely wind
energy
, solar
energy
, hydropower,… and many more.
Furthermore
, by putting these into practice, what we receive comprises enhancement towards the environment and being fearless as there is no
energy
strain. Frankly speaking, I reckon that the additional solutions are far more effective than
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
petrol’s cost. In conclusion, raising the price of petrol might sound beneficial in terms of degrading the extent of pollution and
leveling
Change the spelling
levelling
show examples
up the ventilation of the general atmosphere.
However
, as I have explained,
this
approach still contains drawbacks and one of them has been given out in the first paragraph.
Instead
, the other aforementioned measures would alter individuals’ concepts and bring a new
energy
revolution.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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task achievement
Try to include specific examples or case studies to support your points. For instance, mention countries or cities where increasing petrol prices has had an impact on traffic and pollution, or where renewable energy sources have proven effective.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are overly complex and could benefit from clearer language. Simplify some sentences to enhance understanding and ensure each idea is thoroughly explained.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that idea. This will enhance coherence and the logical flow of information.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the writer’s viewpoint and outlines what will be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both aspects of the question: agreement/disagreement with increasing petrol prices and alternative solutions, ensuring a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, providing a coherent end to the argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • air pollution
  • alternative modes of transport
  • cleaner energy sources
  • disproportionately affect
  • commuting
  • public transportation infrastructure
  • environmentally friendly
  • incentivizing
  • electric vehicles
  • fossil fuels
  • regulations and penalties
  • emissions
  • urban planning
  • walkability
  • cycling-friendly
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